How do you provide sex education for children?

Not a few parents consider it trivial or taboo to provide sex education to children and adolescents. In fact, sex education or sexual education should be started early. However, how to provide sex education for children and adolescents?

Sex education for children and adolescents

Actually, children and adolescents both need sex education from an early age. Quoted from the Journal of The American Academy of Pediatrics, both children and adolescents need to receive an accurate education about sexuality.

This is necessary so that they know how to have healthy sexual behavior and prevent sexual harassment.

Don't let your child get inaccurate information about sex from unreliable sources, such as peers or the internet.

Children also need to know that as parents, you can be invited to discuss these topics.

When a child has been given sex education or sexual education from an early age, in adolescence he does not feel awkward and is more responsible for himself.

Moreover, when school children have entered the stage of adolescent development, they usually have more specific questions about sex.

The thing that needs to be considered is how to convey it correctly both at an early age and at puberty.

Sex education in children is also not only about matters related to sexual organs alone. But also related to body ownership and comfort.

Here are some important points that need to be addressed when providing sexual education to children:

1. Body parts and their functions

Studies shown in Adolescent sexuality and the media show that the more often children are exposed to sexual images in the media, the greater their involvement in sexual behavior from a very young age.

Even so, the actual sexual education will not lead children to promiscuity.

Curiosity about sex is a natural step from growing a child to learn about his body.

Sex education helps children to understand more about their bodies and helps them love their own bodies.

Before entering adolescence, provide sex education about areas of the body. For example, you may be able to introduce the functions of the vagina or penis, breasts, and various other parts of the body.

In addition, tell the child that no one can touch it without permission, be it peers, teachers, or other adults.

Do not forget, tell the child that certain body parts should not be touched by anyone.

Example: “Sis, you can only hold your brother's body. Moreover, sensitive parts such as vagina or penis and breasts. "

"So, if someone is holding onto your body, don't just keep quiet, you have to refuse or seek help if you are forced."

2. Puberty to be experienced

Before entering puberty, it doesn't hurt for you as a parent to explain what changes in your body will be. Usually, entering the age of 9 or 10 years puberty will begin.

For girls, tell them that they will experiencebreast growth, also menstruation. Likewise, hair growth on several parts of the body such as the armpits and vaginal area.

Meanwhile, in boys, in addition to the growth of the penis and testicles, he will also experience changes in voice, to wet dreams. Then, hair growth in the face, armpits and penis area.

Explain to him that these changes are normal and that there is no need to be embarrassed or afraid if this phase occurs.

3. Sexual activity

At this age, your child may begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. Therefore, it is appropriate for you to start teaching children about relationships with the opposite sex.

Yes, this material is also important to convey to sexual education of children and adolescents. Tell him how to treat a friend of the opposite sex.

This also relates to sex education about sexual activity. For example, let them know that kissing and hugging are considered sexual activities for adults.

In addition, convey in language that is easy to understand what sexual activities will be carried out by adults during sex.

Tell the child that this activity can only be done when they are married and children of their age should not engage in sexual activity like that.

Describe the risks that may be experienced by children his age when engaging in sexual activity.

Not to frighten, this is done with the intention of the child being responsible for himself when he is not under parental supervision.

4. Sexual violence and harassment

Sex education or sexual education does not only provide an understanding of the picture of sexual activity.

Since the child is in elementary school, provide an understanding of sexual harassment in easy to understand language.

Explain that the child must be able to protect himself. For example, say something or shout when someone has bad intentions or teases him.

Not only that, this also takes the form of intimidation of appearance or body parts, to trying to touch certain body parts.

Explain also that no one should feel obligated to have sex based on coercion or fear.

All forms of forced sex are a form of rape, regardless of whether the perpetrator is a stranger or they know well.

How to provide sex education to children with autism?

Children with autism have different challenges. Unlike teenagers his age, they may not know much about sex from the social environment.

If not provided with sexual education from parents, children may not know anything about sexuality. This makes them more vulnerable to being used or unwanted.

Sexual desire in humans is normal. Everyone has sensitivity and feelings to have sex, including children with autism.

However, there are various ways in which to express this desire. Adolescents with autism have different ways of expressing their desires.

As for things that can be done by parents, namely to explain to him that sexual activity is something valuable and extraordinary.

Therefore, sexual activity can only be done with a married partner alone.

Then, let your child understand that not everyone wants to engage in sexual activity.

Doing so requires the consent of both parties. For example, if someone says no, then that activity should not be done.

Finally, teach the child about the appropriate time and place to engage in sexual activity. For example, give an understanding that masturbation should not be done in front of other people.

Let him understand that doing it in front of other people is not worth it.

Even though it is difficult and it takes time for the child to digest it, believe it slowly but surely he will understand what you are saying.

Tips on providing sexual education

When you hear about sex education or sexual education for children and adolescents, the first thing that might come to your mind is feeling awkward.

As a parent, understand that personal development, health, and growth of children are far more important than feelings of awkwardness.

Here are some tips that can be done to help you, such as:

1. Buy books

If you find it difficult to provide sex education in your own language, try explaining it with the help of a book. Buy books that discuss puberty and sexuality specifically for children his age.

Currently there are many available in bookstores with various illustrated literature about sexual education that children can easily understand. Put the books in the child's room.

Then say, “Mom / Dad has a great book that is important for you to read. Please read carefully, later if you have any questions ask Father / Mother, yes. "

You can also discuss the contents of the book together with the children in leisure time.

2. Creating a comfortable atmosphere for discussion

As a parent, you are an adult who has an obligation to be a friend to discuss with children about various things, including sex.

Therefore, when providing education about sex to children or adolescents, create a comfortable atmosphere.

For example, provide sexual education when he is in a good mood. The reason is, when the mood is chaotic, children find it difficult to grasp the information you convey.

If you feel awkward about starting, try starting with a good introduction.

For starters, ask the child what they have learned in school about sex education. From that question, let the conversation on this topic flow naturally.

Then, try not to be convoluted. Why? When you are confused about conveying information on this topic yourself, your child may lose interest, even misunderstand.

Also, if your child shares experiences related to sexual activity with a schoolmate, do not immediately become angry or judgmental.

Instead, ask nicely in the tone of an enthusiastic friend. After that, then give advice in a non-patronizing manner.

3. Provide regular sex education

No need to stuff children with various things in one discussion. Try to talk about one specific topic at every opportunity. That way, children have the opportunity to absorb and remember the information they get.

If one day your child asks about sex, don't show your child shock or anger. Your child will feel threatened and will be reluctant to ask you questions the next time.

Remain calm and ask carefully where the child heard this from, do not use an accusing or interrogating tone.

Then, provide an adequate explanation. After that, make sure that the child understands your answer.

Risks of having sex at an early age

One big question sticks out clearly in the minds of most parents when teens start dating: Do they have sex?

Basically, in Indonesia, the minimum age for a person to engage in sexual relations is 16 years.

Therefore, it is important for parents and schools to provide appropriate sexual education to adolescents.

A new study shows that sex at a young age can have negative effects until adulthood. This is most likely due to activity occurring while the nervous system is still developing.

A number of negative results can occur, especially for girls. Starting from the high risk of unwanted pregnancy, contracting HIV or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), cervical cancer, and other negative psychological impacts.

Therefore, be sure to tell your son and daughter about the risks he will face if he engages in sexual activity too early with a girlfriend or a friend of the opposite sex.

In addition, explain that if the sexual activity you engage in causes her to become pregnant, the risks involved will be even greater.

Explain to her that pregnancy in adolescence is at risk of causing miscarriage, infant death, maternal death during childbirth, cervical cancer (cervix), and transmission of venereal diseases.

Apart from these various health risks, adolescent marriage also has a negative impact on the mental health of both partners.

In essence, providing sex education for children and adolescents needs to be done slowly and with reason. That means you don't just ban it but explain why.