Table of contents:
- Conditions that may occur in children raised without a father
- Feel unsafe
- Difficulty adjusting
- Impaired academic ability
- Sexual health problems
- Vulnerable to exploitation and abuse
- Possible physical and mental health problems
- Troubled with responsibility
- How to raise children well without a father figure
- 1. Find a substitute father for your child
- 2. Create a good environment for children
- 3. Get to know the child's friends
- 4. Help children increase self-confidence
- 5. Listen to the child whenever he is angry
Having a complete parent figure is definitely the dream and need of all children. In fact, not all children can feel the warmth and affection of both parents. There are some children who have to be raised without a father. Then, what is the actual psychological condition of a fatherless child, and how to deal with it?
Conditions that may occur in children raised without a father
Ideally, children are raised by two parents, mother and father. There are differences in the role of the mother and father in the development and character building of children. Therefore, it is not surprising that a child who is raised without a father may experience difficulties in the growing process. Some of the problems that children may face are:
Reporting from Psychology Today, a child who is raised without a father has the potential to feel abandoned, unwanted, and other similar feelings. Even children who grow up with a father's love are often worried about themselves.
Not to mention, children may not be able to control their emotions, especially towards themselves. Not infrequently, children feel that they are the reason why their father left them. In other words, children who are raised without a father often blame themselves for their conditions.
In addition, children raised without a father often have problems with attitudes and behavior. Children often find it difficult to adjust to their environment. In fact, it is not uncommon for children who are raised without the love of a father to do sobullyingto friends.
Why?Bullyingor intimidating behavior is used by children raised without a father to hide feelings of fear, nervousness, and unhappiness from being raised without a father figure.
Worse, a child who grows up without the love of a father has the possibility to commit crimes when he is an adult. For example, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and other crimes.
Apparently, the impact of a child growing up without a father figure could also affect his academic abilities. Children have a tendency to drop out of high school if raised without a father.
Meanwhile, other effects on children's academic abilities can also be seen from the problems faced by children in learning activities. For example, children have difficulty counting and reading while still in elementary school. In fact, there is a tendency for children to be unable to meet academic demands and professional qualifications when they become adults.
A child, especially a girl, who is raised without a father figure, has the potential to experience sexual health problems. This includes the possibility of the child having sexual intercourse before the age of 16.
In fact, girls raised without a father figure may be too brave to have unprotected sex. That way, children have a greater potential for contracting venereal diseases.
Not only that, girls who are raised without a father figure have the potential to become parents when they are still teenagers, as well as being exploited by men in the future.
As mentioned earlier, children who are raised without a father do have a higher risk of suffering from abuse problems. Not only physical abuse, children may experience emotional or sexual abuse.
Compared to children raised by both parents, children who grow up without a father figure may experience psychological problems. This results in a five times greater risk of experiencing physical and emotional abuse.
In fact, children aged 3-5 years who do not live with biological parents are 40 times more likely to experience sexual violence than children who live with both parents.
The absence of a father in the development of a child seems to have an impact on the health of the child. Not only physical health, children raised without a father may experience psychological disorders.
Physical health that may be experienced by children is asthma, headaches, to abdominal pain. In fact, it is possible for your child to experience some unexplained pain. This condition is associated with psychosomatic disorders, in which several diseases arise due to physical and mental conditions.
Meanwhile, psychological disorders that a child may experience growing up without a father include anxiety disorders, depression, and suicidal tendencies.
As adults, children who are raised without a father tend to be unemployed, have low incomes, even do not have a place to live or homeless.
In fact, 90% of children who run away from their homes and live in the streets or shelters are usually fatherless. Relationships with members of the opposite sex are also disrupted, tend to be more likely to divorce or have children outside of marriage.
This emphasizes the importance of a father figure especially during the growth of cells and nerves in the child's brain. The reason is that the father's absence can lead to disturbances in social behavior and this condition can last until the child grows up.
How to raise children well without a father figure
Raising a child without a father figure may not be the ideal condition. However, if you have to live with this condition as a parent, it does not mean that you can "succeed" raise it alone. Yes, there are several ways that you should pay attention to the keys to successfully raising a child without a father figure.
1. Find a substitute father for your child
A child, especially a girl, needs a male figure who she sees as a father in her life. This figure is expected to be a good man and can set an example for him. If the biological father or biological father cannot provide a positive figure for the child, you can look for someone else.
For example, you could use your father, or the child's grandfather, to be a substitute for the father figure. The most important thing is that this figure can be a role model for you and your child.
2. Create a good environment for children
Even though your child is raised without a father figure, it does not mean that your child has to experience psychological or behavioral disorders. One of the things you can do to make him grow up as a good kid is to raise him in a good environment.
Surround the child who grew up fatherless with nice people, such as family members who love your child, or friends who are role models for your child. If you have friends with people who have bad habits and who don't set good examples for your children, you may have to think twice about the friendship.
This is of course important for the growth and development of your child. Especially if the presence of your friends has a bad influence on yourself. Of course, your children see you as the only role model, so choose friends who can also have a good influence on your life.
3. Get to know the child's friends
As the only parent to your child, you also need to find out who your child's friends are. Moreover, when they are at school or outside the supervision of their parents, children spend more time with friends. It is not surprising that the presence of children's friends has an influence on their growth and development.
A good friend can certainly set a good example and boundaries for socializing. Therefore, a child who is raised without a father figure also needs to know that these boundaries are also important to have between himself and the opposite sex, not just friends.
4. Help children increase self-confidence
As mentioned earlier, children who grow up without a father tend to have psychological problems. One of them is that children feel insignificant, and this can threaten their self-confidence.
Therefore, help children to increase self-confidence. These feelings are essential for surviving the rigors of life. In fact, the more the child does not have self-confidence, the more he will try to prove but in the wrong way.
Look for activities that have the potential to increase the self-confidence of this fatherless child. For example, clubs at school, sports activities with friends, or activities that suit the talents of the child.
5. Listen to the child whenever he is angry
You may feel irritated when your child is angry and doesn't act nice. However, one of the things you need to do is listen to all of his anger. The reason is, at that time the child was trying to open himself up to you.
When a child who grew up without a father pours his emotions in front of you, the child has assumed that you are a safe place to share his feelings. Therefore, make sure that with good communication that occurs with the child, the absence of a father in the child's life can be handled well.
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