Table of contents:
- The advantages of husband and wife sleeping separately
- Disadvantages if husband and wife separate beds
- Which must be considered when deciding to sleep separately
In a marriage, it is only natural for a husband and wife to live together, sleep in the same bed, and in the same room. However, why do some couples decide to sleep separate beds? Surely what is in our minds is bad assumptions, such as a problematic marriage, not working properly, not romantic, one partner no longer loves him, and various other negative thoughts.
In fact, it turns out that behind it all, there are couples who are forced not to sleep in the same bed, as after the birth of their first child. In this situation, it is difficult for a husband and wife to become new parents, so they take turns sleeping in the child's room. Even some couples who have been married for 30 years sometimes sleep in separate beds occasionally, for various reasons.
But what when a newly married couple has to sleep separately? Is that healthy? What are the pros and cons of husband and wife sleeping separately?
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The advantages of husband and wife sleeping separately
Sleeping separately is a common thing for married couples, both those who have been married for a long time and newlyweds. The good and the bad depends on the reason the couple slept in different beds.
For example, if a married couple has different sleep patterns. Her husband may be the type of person who prefers to be active at night, while his wife is the type who is active in the morning. Of course, when her husband works at night in the same room, it will interfere with his wife's rest time.
Separate sleep can also be done to get quality rest hours. One partner may be disturbed by a partner's sleep disorders, for example delirious, snoring, the habit of going back and forth to the room in the middle of the night, and waking up at different times. This is where the benefits of sleeping separately to keep the relationship harmonious.
Can it still be in harmony? Yes, of course. When one partner is disturbed by his rest hours, of course this will make him feel tired while carrying out daily activities. When his night's rest is interrupted for a long enough time, he may harbor feelings of resentment. Small problems that are buried up to pile up will cause big problems in a relationship.
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This hidden feeling of resentment will diminish your appreciation of your partner. Even you and your partner can argue for unnecessary things and one of them can feel hurt quickly. If sleeping separately is done for harmony in a relationship, why not do it? However, still take the time to have a sex life, and give them hugs and kisses before going to bed. This will maintain the bond between you and your partner.
Disadvantages if husband and wife separate beds
When the reason you sleep apart from bed is because of a problem in a relationship, of course this will damage your intimacy. When you have personal problems and you ask your partner to stay away, this can also cause problems in your relationship.
Sleeping apart for that reason, doesn't fix the problem, you will still encounter the problem. Making sleep apart as an excuse to avoid problems can create emptiness not only physically, but emotionally. Such vacancies can lead to divorce.
You may want to regrow a sense of individuality that you lost when you were living with your partner. It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just that, when you want to grow on your own, the mission and vision of marriage can go awry. You and your partner will develop separately.
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The way you can stay attached to each other is to start a regular discussion routine every day, so don't just lose communication. You and your partner both have a life outside the home, don't let the problem "get into bed", so that the problem becomes a reason for sleeping separately. If you do feel like you need space to be alone, make sure you keep your marriage going by having quality time together. Don't forget to visit each other's rooms, until finally you and your partner decide to share a room again.
Which must be considered when deciding to sleep separately
Before deciding to sleep separately, make sure your partner agrees and understands the existing conditions. According to Michael J. Breus, clinical psychologist, says when one partner opposes the idea of sleeping apart, cracks can occur in their relationship. When one partner feels neglected, intimacy will slowly disappear, this is what causes a person to seek other intimacy outside of their marriage.
The most important thing is that both partners get enough sleep. Lack of sleep can put you at risk of several serious diseases, such as cardiovascular problems, obesity and diabetes. Some researchers have found that people who sleep poorly show lower levels of gratitude and are more selfish than people who sleep well.
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