Psychological reasons why some want to be the third person

What will you do if you fall in love with someone who is already a partner? In fact, many actually prefer to be the third person in a relationship rather than leaving their loved ones. However, is it really just because of love? Actually, what is the reason someone wants to be in the third person? Here is the psychological explanation.

Why would anyone want to be the third person?

Of course, the third person in a relationship will often be hated and disliked by many people. This is something you have to bear when you take on this role. The reason is, you will be called a destroyer of the harmony of other people's romantic relationships.

Then, why is this happening? In several surveys conducted, they dare to do this out of necessity.

Yes, for people who are "cheating", they will feel the fun and excitement of their own when they have to hide their relationship and then meet secretly with their lover. This makes them more passionate about having a love affair than in an ordinary relationship.

On the other hand, they feel confident because their partner comes to them looking for things that their "official" lover does not. So from here comes a sense of confidence that what this is doing is right. In addition, there are many benefits that can be obtained from this secret affair.

This is what happens to the brain when you are the third person

All decisions, behaviors, and things that you do, of course, will be processed in advance in the brain as the center of thinking. When you decide to take on this role, your brain is actually working really hard. So this is the brain's work process when you have covert relationships.

1. Passion increases

Initially, your brain will be flooded with dopamine, a hormone that creates feelings of happiness, excitement, and makes you more energized. A study from the University of Pisa revealed that the dopamine levels when a person is at this stage are almost the same as the dopamine levels in patients with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

At that time, maybe you will feel so happy that you are crazy about your partner at that time. In fact, not only dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are also produced, thereby increasing the feeling of happiness at that time.

2. Biological drive

When you begin to feel affection, comfort, sympathy, or even love, that's when the body's hormone oxytocin is produced. This hormone creates affection, trust, and strengthens confidence and bonds with your current partner. A study states that the amount of the hormone oxytocin in people who are in a relationship is much higher than in people who are single.

The more often you meet and spend time with your partner, the more hormone oxytocin is formed, then you will automatically feel closer. That way, over time you will expect more intimacy from this hidden relationship.

So, actually there is a human biological drive, namely from hormones, why someone is willing to be the third person. However, that does not mean that this impulse is unstoppable, huh. Humans themselves have a moral system, namely the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. This is what can help humans control biological impulses that are not in accordance with the rules in social life.

3. Over time, you will feel depressed too

Most relationships with third people are tacit and covert. Therefore, you and your partner must try to keep this secret carefully. Nervous system experts claim that this will only confuse your brain and end up stressing it out with a big secret to keep.

You could say, at that time there was an upheaval in your brain. On the one hand, you want this relationship to be known to the public, even though this is a big secret. Therefore, there is stress, depression, and emotional instability. The impact of this can disrupt a person's mental and physical health.

So, if you have time to think this role is quite fun to play, you should think again carefully. Is it true, the relationship you need is just a physical connection? Are you ready to take second place in any case? You cannot freely express love and sympathy for your lover. All of that, it comes back to each of you.