Stress after sex, is it normal? (psstt ... this is why!)

Sex is an activity that should bring happiness. However, some people actually feel more stressed after having sex. Have you experienced it too? Are you curious about the cause?

The more stressful after sex, a signpost-sex blues

In the medical world, feelings of stress and pressure that arise shortly after sexual intercourse are called post-sex blues orpostcoital dysphoria or tristesse postcoital.

Besides stress, post-sex blues also causes deep feelings of sadness, anxiety, a tendency to depression, to tears because it is haunted by feelings of guilt or regret after having sex. Some people even got into arguments with their partners afterwards.

Interestingly, all of these negative emotions simply don't come up while you and your partner have sex. You and your partner continue to experience sex that is passionate, romantic, and satisfying.

Men and women alike can be stressed after sex

Post-sex blues can attack anyone indiscriminately. However, various studies that exist to date report that it is women who are more susceptible to stress after having sex.

A study says about 46 percent of women experience symptoms post sex blues or postcoital dysphoria at least once in his life. Meanwhile, a more recent study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in 2018 states that 41 percent of men experience this condition at least once in their lives.

What caused it?

This condition is arguably quite common. Even so, health experts are not yet sure what is the exact cause. Quoted from Psychology Today, a number of studies suspect stress after sex can arise from a combination of various factors; such as genetic factors, body biology, and the psychological condition itself of the person.

A sex therapist and counselor, Denies Knowles, argues that the emergence of stress can occur because various body hormones fluctuate erratically during sex which affects the part of the brain that regulates emotional reactions.

When having sex, the body will produce endorphins, prolactin and oxytocin in large enough quantities. It is the increase in these three hormones that makes sex feel good and happy. Now, after dropping from the climax, the levels of these hormones will drastically recede so that they turn around to cause negative emotions.

Daily stress and past traumas can trigger it

As explained above, the emergence of stress after sex can be influenced by the ups and downs of the body's natural hormones.

So if you are a person who is easily stressed or depressed, chances are that the emotional reaction you feel after sex is getting more and more upset. Especially if your subconscious mind is still preoccupied with daily stress "terror", such as household problems or office work.

Moreover, sex is a form of bonding and trust. For people who tend to be more sensitive, having sex can make them even more emotional. This feeling of being overwhelmed may arise because she feels vulnerable or is afraid of losing herself after opening up to others, or she feels guilty because she has sex, which has been considered taboo.

Experts also state that the trauma of sexual violence in the past can also be one of the trigger factors. In some people, the trauma can last a lifetime. They can suddenly remember what happened to them every time they have sex, even with loved ones.

However, there are still many other triggering factors that have not been revealed and need to be investigated more deeply.

How to solve post sex blues?

If you feel stressed after sex, it's okay to ask your partner for some time out if you want.

There is no need to immediately explain why, because you may not even know why you feel overwhelmed. Take a slow breath and clear your mind for a moment. Think of the things that make you happy.

Once you've calmed down a bit, you can tell him that you feel upset and uncomfortable because he didn't do anything wrong or did anything you didn't like during the sex. That way, your partner will also be calmer. There is also nothing wrong with asking for a joke or a hug from him to calm down.

There are many surveys that prove you are not the only person who can feel stressed after sex. But if this keeps repeating itself and further undermines your soul, maybe even stretching the relationship with the him, then you need to consult a sex therapist.

The therapist will help you figure out what specific triggers are causing you to feel stressed out after sex. In addition, the therapist will also help you plan solutions and strengthen communication with your partner to jointly face problems.

The most important thing is cooperation and efforts to continue to understand each other.