Why are there so many unexpected suicides?

Suicide has long been a polemic in Indonesia. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is often underestimated. Even though the high number of suicides in Indonesia should not be underestimated. Based on reports from the Central Statistics Agency (BPS), there were at least 812 suicides in all regions of Indonesia in 2015. It's different from the data collected by the World Health Organization (WHO). Based on WHO estimated data, the death rate from suicide in Indonesia in 2012 is 10,000.

The real figures in the field may actually be even higher. This imbalance is basically not an error in the reporting of individual institutions, but comes from the fact that suicide is not a disease that can be easily "predicted" by the presence or absence of symptoms, so it is likely that things that are in front of our eyes cannot be seen clearly. "Why did he suddenly commit suicide?"

In fact, suicide is generally an act of emotion and thoughtlessness with decisions made only minutes or hours in advance - but it may hold an excuse that lingers in the soul for a long time, alienated from other people's knowledge.

What are the reasons for suicide?

Every suicide is a unique case, and no one will really know what is the main reason behind it, not even the experts.

There are many logical reasons why a person might want to end his or her own life. Most people who attempt suicide have mental illness. More than 90 percent of people who commit suicide have a mental disorder, whether it's depression, bipolar disorder, or some other diagnosis. Chronic illness, substance abuse, violent trauma, socio-economic factors, and even breakups are common drivers of suicidal thoughts.

But the act of suicide is irrational in itself - especially for those of us who view it from the outside. Human instincts are designed to always prioritize personal safety, and this desire to protect oneself encourages the notion that life must be carefully guarded at all costs.

On the other hand, those who thought of ending their life thought their problems and pain would go away by trying to kill themselves. "For reasons we don't fully understand, some people experience despair and pain so deep they believe they'd rather just die," said Dr. John Campo, head of psychiatry and behavioral health at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

We all face problems in life. One difference is that among individuals who decide to take their own life, their problem causes such pain or despair that they can see no other way out. Basically everyone has the instinct to survive in this world. It's just that depending on what is believed, then his body and mind will follow. If he believes that he will not be able to live, then his body will respond with apathy - like a counting time bomb.

People who attempt suicide may not adapt to life's problems

Basically, the level of complexity of the problem experienced and mental strength can vary from person to person. Many people think the problems they face are more severe than others, even though when viewed from a broader external perspective, there are many people outside the same who face similar problems and are even more serious than themselves. A person's response to stress and problems varies. There are those who remain optimistic when they are hit by a lot of problems. There are those who are pessimistic, feel that they cannot bear all the burdens they have to bear so that they feel that their life is no longer meaningful.

In a sense, this failure to adapt is often one of the driving forces for seemingly "successful" people to attempt suicide. Healthy perfectionism should reflect a positive striving toward achievement; Once you fail, you get up to keep trying again and again, but are still able to admit mistakes and lower the bar when needed. But for some people with a "flawed" outlook, their behavior reflects anxiety about other people's judgments and a great fear of failure while trying to achieve grandiose, unattainable goals.

They lack the healthy mindset necessary to conform to their mental outlook, even when their situation instructs them to adapt. Instead, they persist in the evil cycle of “do more, do better, don't fail, don't let your guard down, don't relax… do more, do better, don't fail, don't let your guard down, don't relax,” and never allowing themselves a moment to reconcile.

Suicidal thoughts often do not want other people to know

Some people who commit suicide may have obvious mental problems, such as depression or addiction. Many are also triggered by feelings of intense anger, hopelessness, misery, or panic. Meanwhile, there are also many suicides that do not show any concrete reasons or symptoms. Many people who seem happy, successful, and have a perfect life decide to end their life without any reason known to those closest to them.

During their lifetime, these people seemed fine and could lead normal lives like everyone else, neither suffering nor hurt. But that was really only because they were so good at covering up their problems. Right behind their "happy" appearance and demeanor lies a vortex of emotional conflict and mental turmoil. They can very much see taking care of their appearance in order to adapt to the outside environment and the expectations of others. They can always look charming, happy, and successful on the outside even if their souls are dying on the inside.

Many people never let others know what they are feeling or planning. This may be based on a unwillingness to disappoint others, unwillingness to be judged for his reckless actions, or unwillingness to have his plans thwarted. "People who are suicidal know that they have to keep their own plans and comply with them if they are going to do so," Dr. Michael Miller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

This is why it would be so hard for people around to know what really happened to these people. They are very good at hiding their wounds. You will think you really know them. You may even believe that your connection with him and his is very close like your own family when suddenly, they kill themselves.

The signs of people who want to attempt suicide are not always clear to those around them

Some suicides (and attempted suicide) don't come suddenly without symptoms. Some people - even those who are hesitant about committing suicide - may consciously or unconsciously give clues to others around them in an attempt to ask for help.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (ASFP), between 50 and 75 percent of people who attempt suicide have expressed their thoughts, feelings and plans for suicide before committing to the reckless act. But sadly, these warning signs of suicide often go unnoticed. The belief of ordinary people that suicide is taboo to discuss and is an attitude of disrespect for religion is the most common cause.

However, what is not widely known by ordinary people is that actually by talking about suicidal thoughts and other sadistic things related to their business, people who want to commit suicide are asking someone to talk to who can help and prevent them from this reckless action. "They want to live, but they want to die," said Campo. “The people are in confusion. They are in pain. " But they don't know what to do and how.

Here are some behaviors that can let friends and family know that they are at high risk of attempting suicide (adapted from HelpGuide.org):

• Talking about suicide: Statements such as "I'd rather die", "Family will live a better life without me in the world", or "If one day we meet again …,"
• Seeking suicide methods: Attempting to gain access to weapons, sleeping pills, rope, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
• No hope for the future: Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and trappedness, or believing that everything in her life will never get better.
• Self-loathing: Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-loathing; statements such as "I wish I had never been born into this world", or "I hate myself,"
• Giving "inheritance": Giving his valuables, spending special time in his last days for family members, or giving advice to people around
• Saying goodbye: Visits or phone calls to family and friends that seem unusual or unexpected; Saying goodbye to people as if they won't see each other again.

People who show these signs often express their suffering, hoping for a response. Each of the attitudes and gestures they display is very useful information that should not be ignored. Your help is very valuable and may save a life. Studies show that once a lethal method of suicide is prevented, many find no other way to end their life.

Get help if someone close to you is suicidal

Knowing the reasons and reasons why someone is suicidal is not a guarantee that you will stop the reckless act in time. What we can take the meaning of from this article is that suicide defies prediction. However, this is a start. Hopefully this will at least raise your awareness that suicide is a serious phenomenon, and that you can prevent it before it's really too late.

We all have problems in life, but it's good that we should also start to care more and pay more attention to the people closest to us for signs of trouble, fear, and suffering that they may experience.

If you think a family member or closest friend has the intention of trying to commit suicide, contact the Directorate of Mental Health Services, Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia at 021-500-454 or emergency number 112. Counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential.