Table of contents:
- Why isn't sending messages to your ex a good idea?
- 1. "I miss"
- 2. Say hello
- 3. Observe his new relationship
- 4. The message contains cursing
- 5. Begging to be given a second chance
Chat or exchanging messages is a very natural thing for people to do. Starting from exchanging information or just asking for news. However, there are a few things to be aware of when sending messages to your ex.
Your relationship is not what it used to be and exchanging messages with him will certainly be different. Therefore, consider first some messages that should not be sent to your ex so as not to feel embarrassed.
Why isn't sending messages to your ex a good idea?
Exchanging messages with your ex is of course not prohibited, but it would be nice to have a look at the content first chat that you want to send. One-on-one, it could be that you hurt his feelings or just create an awkward situation between you.
Here are some types of messages that shouldn't be sent to your ex-partner.
1. "I miss"
These two words are okay to send your ex, but think about it again. Do you really miss your ex or are you just feeling lonely?
As psychologist Adam Borland told the Cleveland Clinic, breaking up can feel like someone dying.
Therefore, it's natural for you to feel lonely because suddenly all the routines that are done together now have to go through it alone. However, try not to send this type of message to your ex.
2. Say hello
Usually, these greeting messages occur around the early hours of the morning. When you feel lonely and too many things to think about it reaches your ex-partner.
Therefore, try to think long or try to erase your ex-spouse's number so that you cannot contact him either consciously or unconsciously. This is done so that you do not regret it later.
3. Observe his new relationship
Well, what is the purpose of congratulating the couple's new relationship? Would you like to let your ex know that you are completely free about her leaving? Or just want to resume lost communication?
As expressed by a psychotherapist, Dr. Fran Walfish, actually it is okay to continue the communication that has been cut off with your ex-partner. However, as you enter the grieving period after breaking up, there is still a small desire to get back with your ex.
Now, after knowing the relationship, you hurt yourself and have to fix the wound first before completely disconnecting from your ex. Therefore, sending a message about a new relationship to your ex is not a wise choice.
4. The message contains cursing
According to Psychology Today, there are seven stages of letting go of the grief of a broken relationship. Starting from despair, rejection, hope, anger, to accept reality. Now, to reach the final process, sometimes there is anger that is not channeled, so that your ex-partner becomes a target to vent it.
Anger is a very human feeling, but if you let it be, it is certainly unhealthy. For example, sending your ex a text that is rude to your ex will certainly make the relationship between the two of you worse.
Try to channel your anger to your ex by writing it down without having to send it. Usually, this can help you lighten the burden that is on your chest and mind.
5. Begging to be given a second chance
This is one of the most discouraging types of messages if successfully delivered to your ex. According to a psychologist from Florida State University, sending messages like that to your ex is certainly not a good idea.
If you and your ex have a problem that you can't fix, let it go. Don't think that your ex is the only person who can understand you. Try not to waste your energy thinking about the person who has hurt you.
It sounds difficult, but it never hurts to keep trying because there are still many people who can see you as someone they can love.
In conclusion, texting your ex, let alone 'dangerous' chatter to continue is a pretty bad idea.
It can be hard to go through the day without your ex, but there will be times when you accept this harsh reality. Therefore, try to limit communication with your ex so that unwanted things do not happen.