Tips for lasting a partner with borderline personality disorder

Not new news if people are with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or borderline personality disorder is difficult to maintain the relationship. How not, there are a series of challenges that need to be overcome when having a partner with borderline personality disorder.

So, what are these challenges and what needs to be done to maintain a relationship with BPD?

Challenge pair with borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition that affects how a person manages emotions and reactions.

Those with BPD are usually emotionally unstable and may have episodes of anger, anxiety, and depression. These episodes can last several hours until they stabilize.

Emotional instability causes people with BPD to rarely have a lasting relationship. They can create problems in relationships. However, keep in mind that people with BPD are often kind and caring about their partners.

Therefore, many people may be attracted to those with borderline personality disorder. They want to see how strong emotions and desires are used in a romance to produce a fun and passionate relationship.

Here are some of the challenges couples in relationships with sufferers will face borderline personality reported from Borderline in The Act.

1. Feeling neglected

One of the reasons why many people can not stand a partner who has borderline personality disorder is often feeling neglected.

You see, people with BPD are usually afraid of loneliness. However, these feelings can turn out to be too affectionate or afraid to have an intimate relationship. As a result, it is not uncommon for you to feel neglected or your partner is too possessive and too clingy at any given time.

The fear that results from this BPD symptom keeps them watching for signs when their partner will leave them. This feeling of anxiety often makes people with BPD misunderstand and makes them overreact for fear of being abandoned.

2. Erratic cycle of relationships

Besides feeling neglected, partner with borderline personality disorder usually has an erratic relationship cycle. This means that at the beginning of the relationship someone with BPD will sacrifice anything for their partner so that the relationship runs smoothly. In fact, they also think this relationship is perfect.

At times like this it certainly looks romantic to any partner. However, relationships are not always sweet. When someone with BPD realizes that their partner and relationship are not perfect, they tend to see things as bad.

This certainly makes people who are in relationships with people with BPD confused. What's more, they also have a hard time recognizing the fact that people make mistakes and nobody is perfect.

This process known as devaluation causes people with BPD to become angry and eventually cut ties. This condition makes having a relationship with BPD difficult and unstable.

Facing partner with borderline personality disorder

If you or your partner have borderline personality disorderThere are always ways to deal with the emotional ups and downs caused by BPD. That way, you and your partner can create a stronger and more lasting relationship.

1. Do not put too much pressure on your partner

Generally, people who have BPD are more able to manage their emotions in a relaxed and calm environment. All family members involved, including your child, need to know that there is no need to discuss important issues when couples have episodes.

When paired with borderline personality disorder being emotional, don't focus all your attention on your partner. Instead of treating it this way, try not to put too much pressure on your partner.

A partner with BPD needs to have the opportunity to talk about what they like and other mundane things, such as news and family events. Don't forget to spend time with your partner, such as on a date or dinner.

The less your partner feels the disturbance he experiences, the more opportunities he has to explore himself.

2. Trying to "listen" to your partner's emotions

When paired with borderline personality disorder in their emotional phase, they may insult or accuse you. If this happens, of course the natural response is to protect yourself and join the emotions. However, this does not apply when dealing with people with borderline personality disorder.

You need to remind yourself that your partner is struggling to put him in a different light than other people. Your partner may see small problems as catastrophic, so when you defend yourself your partner doesn't feel appreciated.

Try to take the time to listen to them without showing the weakness of the argument. In essence, you have to be patient and try not to get offended easily.

If the conflict causes your partner with BPD to threaten you, you may want to continue the conversation when they have calmed down.

3. Let the partner express his feelings

Conflict with a partner who has personality disorder this sometimes makes them dare to threaten to injure themselves. Unfortunately, these signs of self-injury are sometimes less visible, such as scratching your skin, eating less or staying away from you.

This behavior illustrates that the partner is unable to express emotions in the form of words. Therefore, you need to recognize these signs from the start in order to help your partner prevent the emotional crisis from becoming more serious.

You can start by asking your partner to share how they feel. In addition, you can also let them measure themselves, whether your partner needs to consult a therapist or a psychiatrist.

It is important to remember that all threats of injury to suicide must be taken seriously. Even when their behavior appears to be attention-seeking, it still carries the risk of causing serious harm.

That said, you don't need to call for help every time your partner threatens to harm themselves.

4. Take time for yourself

One thing to remember is that you also need time for yourself, especially when dealing with a partner borderline personality disorder.

This is because in certain situations the BPD partner may not be able to provide empathy and awareness in a relationship. In fact, you need support in this relationship.

Therefore, you need to make time for yourself. Starting from spending time with friends to doing activities that you like. If you need someone to talk to about mental illness, a doctor, psychologist, or group can be a good choice.

Don't forget to involve other family members when supporting someone who has borderline personality disorder. The more people who can provide strategies for dealing with BPD sufferers, the less often your partner's emotions will overflow.