How to have sex that is good and right, without pain

Having sex on the first night can be both a fun and exciting experience if you don't know where to start. Or maybe you just want to know how to have sex?

To both satisfy your curiosity and help get rid of your anxiety, we've put together a step-by-step guide that you should know before, during and after having sex for the first time.

Note: this article focuses on vaginal penetrative sex, that is, sex in which the penis enters the vagina. Other types of sex, such as anal or oral sex, are not specifically discussed in this article, although some important points can still be applied to various ways of having sex.

A complete guide to how to have sex for the first time

Unlike what you often watch on the screen, the way to have sex is not just taking off your clothes and going in and out without being straightforward. Like a story, there must be a harmonious development of the plot from stimulation to climax for true sexual satisfaction.

Here's a guide to how to have sex that is good and right.

1. Determine if your partner wants to have sex

Approval is the very first step and very important if you want to have a good sex experience. Agreement here means not only "consensual" but also must be "willing and willing".

This means that both parties must agree and be willing to consciously engage in sexual relations. If one party feels uncomfortable, no mood, don't want to have sex right away, don't continue.

Not only will this cause bickering between the two of you, but coercive or non-consensual sex may land you in a serious criminal offense.

2. Always have a condom ready

If this is your first chance for casual sex or with a new partner, always make sure you or him have condoms on hand to prevent the transmission of venereal diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

One good way to be sure is to ask them directly if they have condoms. If not, talk to her about the risks of unprotected sex the two of you could face. You can also buy new condoms before starting.

If this is your and your partner's first night after getting married, condoms can be a good way of contraception if you don't plan to have children right away (especially if the woman doesn't have any other birth control methods).

3. Heating is important

Sex is an intimate activity. Therefore, try not to rush. Foreplay, foreplay is as important as sex itself.Foreplay also helps strengthen bonds for both parties.

In addition to giving time for you and your partner to both relax and enjoy the process, foreplay also helps you avoid pain during sex. If a woman is not sexually aroused enough, her vagina will not be wet enough so that penetration of the penis will be difficult and painful.

Warming up can be done by caressing, touching, or kissing. Foreplay can also be achieved through oral sex or engaging in "sex without undressing," such as blowjob or clitoral stimulation using the tongue. Spend at least 15 minutes indulging in foreplay before moving on to the "main menu".

4. Penetration slowly

The easiest and most common way to have sex is in the missionary position, where the woman lies on her back with her knees slightly bent and the man is directly above her for penetration (inserting the penis into the vaginal opening).

A stray penis and the wrong hole is a "blunder" that occurs most often, especially if this is the first time for the man to penetrate. This is normal, but a misplaced penis can cause injury during sex for both men and women.

Therefore, the best way for successful penetration without incident of embarrassment is to ask for guidance. The woman can use her hand to separate the labia aka lips in the vagina and use the other hand to guide the penis until it is properly inserted.

Once the penis is in, the man can continue penetration by pushing his hips slowly and rhythmically until the penis is fully inserted into the vagina. Then partially pull it out before re-entering. Don't force the penis in with a slamming motion like in a porn movie. Start with slow, gentle movements until you both find a rhythm that fits.

5. Take a deep breath

The first sex can be anxious and excited, but it shouldn't be very painful.

The way to work around this is to relax your mind while breathing slowly while the man begins penetration. The male can also do this to control his penetration rhythm. Take a breath from your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 10 until the penis is finally able to enter.

If the pain is excruciating or the bleeding is a lot like menstruation, stop penetration immediately. If you experience pain during sex, it may be because you are not wet enough, lack lubrication, need to change positions, or ask your partner to slow down. Pain can also come from anxiety and nervousness.

Talk with your partner about how to make sex more comfortable. Consult a doctor for more details.

6. Enjoy the moment

Orgasm is always seen as the ultimate goal, aka the goal of having sex. It's great if you can experience it the first night, but know that it is perfectly possible and perfectly natural for either party not to orgasm at all. Especially if this is the first sex for a woman.

On the other hand, men are also very likely and very natural to experience premature ejaculation or hard erections on the first night. These two issues can be influenced by psychological things such as nervousness and anxiety, or on the contrary very excited.

Don't make having difficulty orgasming (or orgasming too quickly) a big problem. Again, this is normal and doesn't mean that something is wrong with either of you. Orgasm is a very unique experience with a personal understanding of each other's bodies, and it does take time to master.

Enjoy this intimate moment and all the process. Don't rush into penetration just to catch an orgasm and then clean up. Sex is the perfect moment to pamper each other. After it's completely done, spend some time for the afterplay for example by hugging or spoiled golers together.

7. Take off the condom

If you are wearing a condom, remove it away from the vagina. The method should not be done carelessly so that the semen stored in it does not leak out. If this happens, there is a great risk of transmitting venereal disease or unwanted pregnancy.

When you want to pull the penis out of the vagina, hold and hold the base of the condom (the rubber loop) so that the condom doesn't slide off and off before you are ready to remove it. This method prevents semen from spilling in the vagina. After the penis is away from the vagina, then pinch the condom opening with two fingers and tie a knot.

Make sure you dispose of the condom properly. Once tied, wrap it in plastic or tissue and throw it in the trash.

8. Clean up

Cleaning the body after sex is a must. About 80 percent of women contract urinary tract infections (UTIs) after having sex without a condom.

The way to avoid it is easy. Take a shower and clean the genitals well. For girls: wash and rinse your vagina and vulva well (no douching!) While men should wash the penis after removing the condom.

Don't forget to wash your hands immediately and urinate after sex. Urine will drain all kinds of bacteria out of the body to clean the urinary tract.