Live life with depressed parents & bull; hello healthy

It is never easy to find out that a family member has depression. However, when clinical depression affected your parents, circumstances necessitated that the roles of family members be reversed one hundred and eighty degrees.

Depression can cause problems for your parents, including being overwhelmed by prolonged sadness and feeling tired and lethargic all the time. You have no choice but to grow up quickly, becoming the person who now holds household responsibilities. This can cause not only relationship problems at home, but also in your school / work environment.

Children of depressed parents have a higher risk of mental and physical illness as adults

Many medical journals out there have written about the negative effects of depression on depressed parents on their children. For one, a 20-year study funded by the National Health Institute of Mental Health shows that children of depressed parents are up to three times more likely to develop major depressive or anxiety disorders - especially phobias - two. a sixfold greater risk of developing a dependence on alcohol, and a sixfold greater chance of developing a drug dependence.

In addition to mental disorders, children of depressed parents reported developing more health problems, especially heart problems with a five-fold increase, and the average age of onset (onset of symptoms) in their early to mid-30s.

Reporting from The Daily Beast, when parents are under intense emotional stress, or other forms of stress (depression), it can change the genetic activity of their children at least during adolescence and possibly until they get older. And because some altered genes shape brain development, the effects of parental depression may be permanently imprinted on their children's brains.

Child abuse and even depressed mothers, studies show, can turn off the genes that build stress hormone receptors in the child's brain. When these genes are silenced, the child's stress response system functions in a critical state, making it extremely difficult to cope with life's difficulties, making the person more susceptible to suicide attempts. In infants with parents with depression or anxiety disorders, they experience silencing of the same stress hormone receptor genes, making them hypersensitive and unable to cope with stress in their later development. These studies show that having a depressed mother leaves traces on the child's DNA.

Signs and characteristics of depressed parents

• Depression can show different faces to each person. You may notice that your mom or dad has lost interest and desire in activities they used to enjoy, such as gardening or playing golf, or even attending family events.
• Your father or mother may express sadness, hopelessness and / or helplessness. Sometimes, hopelessness can go unnoticed. Instead, your father / mother cursed, grumbled, expressed anger or irritation, and complained about physical symptoms such as fatigue, aches and pains, such as headaches, stomach aches, or back pain - for reasons that are not clear.
• Your parents may sleep longer or less than usual. Or, they have experienced a drastic weight gain / loss recently. Some of the other symptoms that may help you detect changes in your parents are: drinking excess alcohol or smoking too often, substance abuse (excessive use of sleeping pills or pain relievers), fickle, messy, and forgetfulness.
• Some people may show physical symptoms more often than emotional symptoms. It is common for middle-aged people to develop depression after the death of a loved one (spouse, or close family, even children), loss of independence (due to age or retirement), and other health problems.

Understanding your parents' symptoms of depression is important for you to get help for them. Once you understand the issues surrounding depression, you may be more patient, know how to best respond to your parents' tantrums, and have a better understanding of treatment options.

What can be done to help a depressed parent?

You cannot control the depression that your loved one has. However, you can, however, to take care of yourself. It is just as important for you to stay healthy, like your parents, to stay healthy in order to get the best care, so make your physical and mental well-being your top priority.

You will not be able to help someone who is sick if you are sick yourself. In other words, make sure you are fulfilling well-being and happiness for yourself before you try to help someone else who is going downhill. You won't be of much use if you fall into the slump when you want to help a depressed parent. When your own needs are met, you will have the energy you need to reach out.

1. Pay attention to his movements

Older people often say “No, I'm not sad,” or “No, I'm not lonely” because they don't want to be an extra burden in the family. Therefore, pay attention to gestures that are trivial but seem unusual, such as squeezing hands excessively, irritability or irritation, or difficulty sitting still.

2. Invite them to talk about their feelings

Parents tend to have a harder time coping well with losses, unlike young people, because the years that they have lived add to the meaning behind the moment. You can help your father / mother by acknowledging the importance behind the loss: Ask your father / mother how they felt after the loss ("Ma'am / sir, are you okay? I just wanted to check on you, because lately I'm worried about this. Want to tell? ";" Have you eaten? What are you doing, sir / ma'am? ";" How can I support you at this time? ").

It is important to listen without being judgmental, and to respect their feelings. Listening offers immediate comfort and support. It is important to remember that being a good, loving listener is much better than giving advice. You don't have to try to "fix" the person; people don't like to be corrected - you just have to listen attentively.

Don't expect one simple conversation to solve the problem. A depressed person tends to withdraw and shut off from those around him. You will probably need to express your concern and willingness to listen, again and again. Slowly, don't be pushy, but be persistent.

3. Get a doctor's consultation

Invite your parents to see a doctor or a therapist to discuss their symptoms. Depression makes a person have less motivation and energy to do something, even go to the doctor. Therefore, it would be best if you make the appointment for the first time (after approval) and accompany them during the consultation session. Keep an eye on your parent's treatment plan to ensure that he / she is following every step of the treatment well, including taking medication regularly and attending therapy sessions.

4. Continue to be beside him

Encourage your father / mother to continue therapy and take medicines until they are finished, even when they feel better. The reason her condition is getting better now is because of her medication. If he insists on stopping his medications, talk to your parents' doctor first. Your doctor may recommend your father / mother to reduce the dose of the drug slowly before actually deciding on the overall treatment, as well as to prevent symptoms from recurring at a later date.

Homework assignments that seem trivial to us will make it very difficult for the person with depression to manage. Offer to help take over the household chores, but remember, don't insist on doing everything for your parents that you know and believe they can do on their own, such as driving or going shopping to the supermarket. Doing everything for depressed people in the name of helping to ease their burdens often doesn't help at all, as it reinforces their perception that they are truly helpless and worthless. Instead, help your parents do something in small portions and praise them for their effort.

Occasionally, check with your parents from time to time, especially if you no longer live with them. Ask a close friend or neighbor you trust to stop by your mom / dad's house regularly. If the symptoms of depression seem to get worse, contact a therapist. If your parents stopped caring for themselves altogether, stopped eating, and isolated themselves, now is the time for you to step in.

5. Watch for signs of suicide

Don't expect a depressed parent to get better quickly. Most antidepressants take weeks to become effective, and it may take months or even years to complete therapy. Exercise patience for both you and your parents, and offer emotional support.

At critical times like this, study the signs of suicidal thoughts that may be shown, such as talking about and glorifying death, saying goodbye, giving valuable possessions, completing all his worldly affairs, and sudden mood changes from depressive to calm.

If a depressed parent shows the slightest sign and / or desire to end his life, seek help to stabilize himself immediately. Don't leave him alone. Call the therapist, call the emergency department / police (118/110), or take him immediately to the emergency department of the nearest hospital. Any behavior that indicates suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously as an emergency measure to prevent tragedy.