It is different from household conflict with household conflicts during the covid pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has infected millions of people around the world and thousands of people in Indonesia, making people have to stay at home and reduce activities outside. This condition is said to be one of the causes of domestic conflict and an increase in cases of domestic violence.

The difference between domestic violence and domestic conflicts during the COVID-19 pandemic

For some people, the COVID-19 pandemic requires family members to be at home and see a full 24 every day. Wives and husbands must adjust to new conditions with their respective work schedules. When there is a communication error, this condition makes small things turn into conflicts between husband and wife.

“The pandemic has made a husband and wife who both went to work to meet more intensely. The more people get together, the potential for conflict increases, ”said Nurindah Fitria, a clinical psychologist at the Pulih Foundation.

Yayasan recovered is an organization that focuses on meeting the needs of psychological services, especially for victims of violence.

Nurindah gives an example of a potential conflict situation that arises during the pandemic. For example, wives and husbands have a meeting schedule at 09.00 but they do not communicate it in advance.

"In the morning blame each other. The wife wants her husband to help prepare the child while the husband has to prepare the ingredients meeting. There was tension, then blamed each other. This is a conflict, ”explained Nurindah.

When these conflicts arise, get bigger, and cannot be resolved properly, then arguments that lead to violence have the potential to arise.

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Nurindah explained, this household conflict cannot automatically be said to be domestic violence (KDRT). Although domestic violence can also start from a conflict.

This violence is called situational violence or is called situational couple violence (SCV). In situational violence in domestic relationships, husband and wife can rethink the arguments that occurred, express opinions, and discuss misunderstandings that have occurred.

After the tension subsided, the couple could hear opinions and understand each other's conditions. These conflicts can be resolved by finding solutions to the main problems that arise.

"Herein lies the difference between household conflicts that cause situational violence and domestic violence," explained Nurindah.

"In a conflict, usually there will be a solution because the interests of each party can be communicated. Meanwhile, in domestic violence, one party feels that it must come first and there is no equality of roles there, "he continued.

Domestic violence (KDRT) during a pandemic

In a healthy relationship, everyone's role in the relationship is equal, in expressing opinions, feelings and thoughts. In other words, everything that is done by each individual is valued and appreciated.

However, in domestic violence that did not happen. For example, both have a meeting in the morning, the husband feels he should be preceded by the wife. The husband feels that his role is more important so that he puts aside the role of the wife.

When the wife defends herself, the husband then speaks loudly and threateningly.

"For example, 'if you don't obey, then I hit'. Violence is used to control not just a moment of emotional outburst and it is done continuously, ”explained Nurindah.

Unlike household conflicts, domestic violence usually has its seeds before the pandemic period. There is a recurring pattern and it could come to a head when the pandemic forces partners to meet more intensely than usual.

Unhealthy relationships that have an impact on domestic violence arise because of inequality or inequality of roles. There is a relationship between one party that is in power and the other party coordinates its subordinates.

This means that cases of domestic violence that have increased during the COVID-19 pandemic, as it is today, did not occur in families who were doing well.

"That role injustice has existed since before. That must be emphasized. So any quarrels in the household are normal, "said Nurindah.

Healthy household relationships are not without conflict. For healthy relationships, household conflicts that arise during this pandemic will not end up being domestic violence.

How to help neighbors victims of domestic violence?

When you see victims of domestic violence, you cannot immediately act because you are worried that you will be seen as meddling in other people's domestic conflicts. Even so, you feel the need to assist victims of domestic violence.

Nurindah said that what the victim needs most is help. The treatment often manipulates the victim. Gradually, the perpetrator reduces the victim's self-confidence, removes the victim from the social environment, and makes the victim feel that she has no place to turn to for help.

"So the first thing is to make sure the victim knows that in his environment there is a group that is ready to help when something happens," said Nurindah.

Domestic violence perpetrators will threaten and attack the helpers. Nurindah advises those who intend to help make sure they have the strength to accept threats from the perpetrators.

"The group or neighborhood unit together with the RT head will be a good solution in helping victims of domestic violence," Nurindah concluded.