Table of contents:
Asking a partner to change is not as easy as it seems. In fact, you may have been asking, demanding and grumbling over and over again because of the bad attitude she keeps repeating but it's still fruitless. You may need other ways to ask your partner to change, for example in a more positive way without tugging on your emotional nerves to trigger an argument. But first, let's find out if someone can basically change.
Can someone change?
Every human being must have advantages and disadvantages. Various deficiencies in yourself, especially in others, sometimes make you annoyed and want to change it. So the question is, can someone change? The answer is, of course you can. It's just that changing someone's behavior is not as easy as turning your palm.
Personality and attitude are things that are deeply ingrained and become patterns that will be repeated. Therefore, it takes more effort and a very strong intention to change it.
You need commitment and that commitment must come from within yourself. However, encouragement from the closest person can help motivate a person to change.
The best way to ask your partner to change
Here are some positive ways you can try to ask your partner to change, namely:
1. Be warm
Nearly everyone doesn't like being scolded or treated harshly, but the average person prefers to be treated with a gentle and warm demeanor. Quoted from WebMD, this attitude also applies when asking a partner to change.
Having a warm attitude means showing your partner that you have empathy, have compassion, and are a good listener. Compared to asking him to change his bad attitude by nagging and even shouting, it would be much better if you talk to him and show a warm personality.
Even though it's not easy, you need to try this one method. You can show empathy and continue to support him when you are really upset that he keeps repeating his mistakes. For example, you may hate it when your partner always uses a high tone of voice when angry and wants to change it. Well, the way you need to do is to stay warm and listen to his nagging until it's finished without being provoked by emotion.
After he finishes his nagging, then you can then speak and respond in a manner that remains elegant without showing the slightest bit of anger. In this way, over time your partner will realize that being angry does not need to use a high intonation. In addition, the goal is for the couple to see a good example of how to behave from the attitude you show.
2. Ask without demanding
If it turns out that your partner never realizes his mistake even though you have demonstrated how to behave when you are angry with him, then do this one way. You can talk to him kindly and ask for it without coming off as demanding.
How to? You do this by telling your partner about your request and how it can affect your relationship. Patiently and calmly explain how his attitude will affect you and the relationship. Remember, you only need to explain it, not push it into a corner, let alone bring up the mistake.
Approaching in a warm and gentle way can be an effective way so that a partner is willing to open his heart and mind to practice the input given. The reason is, when you ask nicely, there is no reason for your partner to be defensive. Instead, he will accept it openly and begin to think that what you said is actually true.
