Table of contents:
- Tips for dealing with guilt after cheating
- 1. Understand why you are cheating
- 2. Decide whether to be honest or not
- 3. If you want to be honest, do it right
- 4. Accept no matter how your partner reacts
- 5. Respect whatever decisions your partner makes
- 6. Rebuild trust
- 7. Fix any unfinished problems
Being betrayed by the person you most love and trust can leave you with deep inner wounds. However, it is not uncommon for people who cheat to feel guilty and want to fix things as before, especially if they still love their partner. Here are some things you can do for those of you who are haunted by guilt after cheating.
Tips for dealing with guilt after cheating
1. Understand why you are cheating
The first step you must take starts with yourself. Ask yourself, why are you having an affair?
Infidelity generally occurs because someone doesn't get what they want from their partner. There are many reasons and possibilities behind the occurrence of an affair. One of the triggers most often found is a lack of sexual satisfaction obtained from partners.
Other reasons that may drive you to have an affair are incompatibility, love that slowly fades, you fall in love with other people, to curiosity and need a new challenge.
By knowing what was the main reason why you betrayed your partner, you can determine what action to take next. An affair that occurs because you don't get along or don't love your partner anymore is a sign that the relationship should be ended as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, if there are still aspects in the relationship that can be improved, such as how to communicate, routine, or sex life, then the relationship is still worth fighting for.
2. Decide whether to be honest or not
Quoted from Women's Health's interview with psychologist Dr. Chloe Carmichael, you can choose to tell your partner the truth, or you can decide to hide it.
If the affair was the result of a fatal mistake you made and you are afraid of hurting your partner's feelings, the best way you might choose is to cover up the incident.
Even so, you must commit to yourself so that cheating doesn't happen again. If necessary, you can consult a psychologist to prevent this from happening.
However, a healthy relationship is founded on honesty and openness. If you are always haunted by guilt after cheating, or there is a problem with your partner that triggered you to have an affair and you want to fix it, then you should immediately talk about it from your heart.
3. If you want to be honest, do it right
Honestly speaking is not an easy thing. However, there are always good and right ways to explain cheating to your partner.
Discuss this problem in a place away from the crowd. It would be better if you and your partner are in the same room together. Then, apologize and say that you feel ashamed and guilty about what you were going to tell your partner.
Admit all your mistakes and emphasize to your partner that cheating won't happen again. In addition, tell him what your plans are to improve the situation and rebuild your partner's trust.
4. Accept no matter how your partner reacts
Anger, disappointment, and deep sadness - maybe those are the reactions your partner will show after the truth is revealed. Appreciate and respect whatever your partner's reaction.
In addition, your partner may pester you with questions. This is natural, considering the couple would want to know what the reason for your betrayal, with whom, when, and other details about the affair.
5. Respect whatever decisions your partner makes
Apart from appreciating your partner's reaction, you also have to accept what the next steps are that your partner wants to take.
Most likely your partner is reluctant to continue in the relationship and leave you. Like it or not, you have to respect the decision, right awaymove on, and continue to live your life as normal.
However, there is also the possibility that your partner still wants to fight with you to repair a relationship that has been tainted by infidelity. This is a good sign, but don't expect the relationship to return to normal in such a short time.
6. Rebuild trust
Another way to deal with guilt after cheating is to rebuild what was broken, namely trust.
You need to know that there will be many changes in the relationship. For example, your partner will become more possessive, demand more time together, communicate frequently, and ask for access to your social media accounts.
As long as the changes that occur are still within reasonable limits and can help grow your partner's trust, just follow the flow. However, if you feel like your own privacy is being compromised in any of these ways, it's time to determine if this is really the relationship you want with your partner.
7. Fix any unfinished problems
If there is a problem or trigger that causes the affair, then you and your partner must try to fix it together.
For example, cheating occurs when you are under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs. Talk to your partner about this, and share that there is a chance that the affair might recur if you still drink a lot. Show that you really want to change, such as by going to rehabilitation or intensive care.
By discussing this with your partner, he will understand how guilt-ridden you are after cheating, as well as how serious you are to change yourself and your relationship.
