6 Tricks to deal with a passive aggressive partner & bull; hello healthy

Do you always have trouble deciphering your partner's words and meanings? Somehow, you always end up wrong because you can't understand the meaning of your partner. Your partner will do a thousand things to make it appear that you are the one who started the fight. If you have experienced this often, it could be that your partner is a passive aggressive person. Dealing with hot situations with people who have passive aggressive behavior is certainly not easy. If you are not careful, it will be you who will be blamed and will lose yourself. So, consider the following tricks for dealing with a passive aggressive partner.

What is passive aggressive behavior?

In the 1960s, passive aggressive was categorized as a behavior disorder. However, experts now consider passive aggressive behavior to be behavior that may lead to or indicate a certain mental disorder but may not. In fact, in most cases, people who suffer from passive aggressive behavior do not show a particular tendency for mental disorders. They only show patterns of behavior that seem passive, but actually behind it there is an intention to be aggressive. This trait is a habit that is deliberately done to express anger, disappointment, or disapproval without showing a certain emotional outburst.

A sign that your partner is suffering from passive aggressive behavior

Passive aggressive behavior is an indirect form of rebellion, disapproval, or anger. So, you have to be really careful in seeing the signs. Here are some traits that appear if your partner is passive-aggressive.

Don't want to be blamed

For your partner, he could not be wrong. Surely what is wrong is you, other people, or circumstances. No wonder the partner often turns things around until he seems to be the victim. In fact, if traced back, it was he who himself caused the problem. Passive aggressive people are good at finding loopholes and playing on words so that it is difficult for you to argue with them.

Get in the way of your plans

If you have certain plans or intentions that your partner doesn't really agree with, he or she may not immediately stop you. Instead, your partner will send you certain cues so that you realize for yourself that he really doesn't like your plans. Suppose you plan to go out with your friends without him. Instead of saying "no", your partner may intentionally create an emergency situation such as playing sick, suddenly asking to be picked up, or arranging another event for the same date so you can't help but be out with friends.

Often criticizes

No matter what you do, your partner can always find fault with it. Whether it's the style of dress, habits, or decisions you make. This was the result of his tendency and thirst to rebel. In fact, maybe he doesn't really mean to criticize you.

His will is unclear

A person who is passive aggressive always has a way to escape responsibility. So your partner seems like he doesn't have a clear stand because he refuses to take responsibility or be blamed if something happens that he doesn't want. He will also be ambiguous and refuse to make concrete promises. You may be angry yourself and angry because you can not interpret what your partner really wants. When you get out of control, your partner may respond with reactions such as, "Why, why are you getting angry, huh? I speak well, ".

Shirking responsibility

Instead of refusing or saying "no," a passive aggressive partner prefers to deliberately shirk responsibility so that you don't ask for his help again. For example, if you ask him to pick you up, he will be late on purpose and not pick up your phone. This is a way of showing that he really doesn't want to do what you asked him to do. Passive aggressive people are known to procrastinate and intentionally carry out their duties half-way.

Often sulk

Communication is one of the biggest problems for you and your passive aggressive partner. The reason is, rather than being honest with each other, your partner prefers to sulk and demands that you guess for yourself what is on his mind. According to him, silencing you is the best way to show his anger.

How to deal with a passive aggressive partner

Usually those who have passive aggressive tendencies do not realize that they are exhibiting this behavior. So, to deal with a passive aggressive partner, consider the following steps.

Be aware of the signs

Watch if your partner's passive aggressive nature begins to emerge. By being aware of the signs, you will not get caught up in the fights and conflicts your partner creates.

Control emotions

It is easy for you to get emotional because of the passive aggressive nature of your partner. In fact, it is your emotions that your partner is waiting for so that it makes you the first noisy impression. So, you should not take heart what is said by your partner. Instead of being emotional, it's better to ask your partner to talk heart-to-heart honestly what your partner really feels. Keep in mind that your partner is not himself, he is being overpowered by his destructive nature. So your job is to help your partner, not become his enemy.

Don't overreact

Even if your partner may appear passive, he is actually hiding his aggressive and ready to fight back. So when your partner starts to be passive aggressive, be patient by taking 3 to 5 deep breaths. If you just get too annoyed, put off the fight and ask for some time alone. The more you overreact, the more your partner will find a weapon to corner you.

Get your point across clearly

One tactic that passive aggressive partners use is to find loopholes in your words. So, always try to get your point across clearly and explicitly. That way, your partner can no longer look for opportunities to defend themselves or blame you.

Avoid blaming your partner

A passive aggressive partner can at least be pushed or blamed. They will actually be more aggressive in attacking you. So, it's best to avoid blaming your partner. Instead of saying, "You never help me clean the house," you can replace it with, "I feel uncomfortable when I come home in a messy condition,". Always focus on the point of trouble, not on your partner alone.

Keep practicing

This is the most important technique for dealing with a passive aggressive partner. The more you get in the habit of recognizing signs of passive aggressive behavior, controlling your emotions, and solving problems with a cool head, the more open you will be to each other. Over time, your partner will realize that his actions all this time will only hurt your relationship.