Table of contents:
- Dealing with a partner who won't admit to being wrong
- 1. Don't blame
- 2. Don't be silent
- 3. Say positive words
- 4. Understand the causes
- 5. Express your feelings
Quarrels are commonplace in romantic relationships. Your relationship with your partner will eventually get better again after understanding and forgiving each other. What, though, if you have a defensive partner who will never admit to being wrong?
Dealing with a partner who won't admit to being wrong
Humans will naturally defend themselves when faced with conflict. Even so, defensiveness can sometimes turn into defensive behavior.
The defensive person sees the words, criticism, and suggestions of others as an attack. He felt compelled to protect himself from these attacks. You do this by refusing outright, giving a harsh response, and not wanting to admit to being wrong.
Everyone can be a defensive figure, including your partner. If your partner has these characters, here are some tips you can do:
1. Don't blame
The more you insist that he is guilty, the less likely it is that your partner will admit to being wrong. Even if your partner is at fault, avoid words like "don't want to understand" or "always feel right" when conflicts arise.
These words sound like very sharp criticism to a defensive partner. As a result, the only response that comes to your partner's mind is how to protect him or her from your words.
2. Don't be silent
Quarrels certainly cause negative emotions and make the atmosphere awkward. You can even get angry with your partner just by looking at them or talking to them. In the end, you and your partner even decide to keep quiet with each other.
Silence will benefit no one. You are constantly filled with anger, while your partner remains defensive and doesn't want to admit that he was wrong. Try to calm down for a moment, then be clear about how you feel.
3. Say positive words
You may be filled with anger, but getting angry back at your partner will only make things worse. Even if it is difficult, try starting with positive words such as, "You are a good partner and I say this because I care …."
If your partner is correcting their behavior, don't forget to show that you appreciate it. This is a positive thing that has the potential to reduce your partner's defensive attitude. That way, he can act better when there is a conflict.
4. Understand the causes
There are many factors that prevent even adults from admitting they are wrong, including childhood trauma. For some people, a bad experience as a child can have a profound impact on their emotional state.
Your partner eventually builds a defensive wall in the form of a defensive stance. He rejects everything that reminds him of his bitter childhood experiences. Understanding why your partner behaves in this way will make it easier for you to find solutions.
5. Express your feelings
Even if there are a number of reasons why you are right, your partner who is difficult to admit to being wrong will still hold on to their opinion. In this situation, don't focus on stating the logical reasons why you are right. Share how you feel.
People who are defensive are sometimes so focused on winning arguments that they ignore their partner's feelings. Sharing your feelings will make him understand that winning the debate isn't everything.
Dealing with a defensive partner is a challenge in itself in a relationship. The reason is that the emotional bonds that should be built on the principle of mutual understanding are colored with a selfish attitude.
You can't change the character of your partner like turning your palm, but the methods above can help make communication work better. That way, you can deal with your partner's attitude and at the same time keep your relationship going.
