5 Questions about sex that must be asked before the first night

There are many things that you both need to discuss carefully before getting married. One of them is about sex. Talking about sex even before you are both "legal" is important because sex is undeniably one of the main foundations in building a harmonious household. Talking about sex before marriage with a partner can also help each party unite to understand and get to know each other more deeply. Here are some questions about sex that you should both ask each other.

Questions about sex that you must ask each other

Chat Sex may not be as free as talking about who your favorite singer is or what you've been up to this week. So to be more comfortable and flexiblediscussing this intimate issue, make an appointment with your partner to set aside a special time to confide in private.

What are the things that need to be asked about sex before marriage? Remember, you both have to be completely honest, in answering it!

1. Have you had sex before?

Before asking questions about sex that is the most sensitive, ask yourself first if you are ready to hear the answer. Will the answer contradict the principles you have held dear? If so, what would you do?

To keep in mind, sexual activity itself takes many forms, ranging from kissing, making out (foreplay), rubbing the genitals (petting/dry humping), masturbation, oral sex, to penile penetration. Your partner may have gotten a blowjob from his ex-girlfriend in the past, but think it's just a joke while you don't think so.

So, first equate your understanding of what sex is. Then, you need to think about the right reaction according to the answer he gave. For example, "do you always have multiple sex partners?" or "were you wearing a condom at that time?"

You also need to consider your partner's reaction when he turns to ask you questions. Be honest about your sex life so far. From there, discuss together what are the plans for the future.

2. Have you ever had venereal disease tests or HPV injections before?

If you or your partner have had sex (either with or without a condom) before, the next thing to ask is whether they have been tested for venereal disease before.

Also ask about their medical history, especially about what vaccines the couple has done. The HPV vaccine is an important vaccine for adult men and women who have had sex.

According to Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., professor from Indiana University, many people who do not realize that they have actually contracted venereal disease. In fact, this could have the potential to transmit the disease to their partners.

3. Should we use condoms (or other contraceptives) in perpetuity?

The decision to use contraception to postpone pregnancy needs to be discussed together in advance before making an appointment. The reason is, your partner may want to have children quickly after marriage, while you want to enjoy the honeymoon period first.

If you both plan to take your time, using condoms or birth control pills for a while might be a solution. Meanwhile, if you are both determined not to have children, maybe you can use other, more permanent ways, such as a vasectomy or tubectomy.

Regardless of whether you want to have children, the continuous use of condoms during sex even though you are husband and wife must also be considered if one of you is diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease. This aims to avoid the effect of ping-pong disease transmission.

4. What do you expect / want from our sex after marriage?

Sex is an activity that should benefit both parties involved. So it is important to ask what he hopes and wants from you during sex in the future. Vice versa. You need to be clear about what you want from your partner about sex once you are legally married.

For example, do you plan to have children after marriage and when exactly. Or, reveal how often you want to have sex in a week or what kinds of situations prevent you from having sex first. For example, when you are tired or when you are busy being restrained deadline office.

The two of you can also talk to each other about anything that turns you on (and what turns it off), sexual fantasies, challenging sex positions you've been trying to do, to things you don't want to do in bed. Talking about these things long before the first night can help each other know what to expect in the future.

5. Come on, check your health before marriage?

Before you can firmly say the sacred promise, it's a good idea to invite your partner to undergo a premarital checkup together. The goal is to find out if each other has a "talent" for a genetic disease or other health problem that can affect both of you and / or pass on to the next generation.