Table of contents:
- Steps for dealing with a possessive boyfriend
- 1. Tell him honestly that you object to his attitude
- 2. Don't get angry
- 3. Find out what caused it
- 4. Give more understanding
- 5. Create relationship boundaries so as not to become more possessive
No one wants to have a possessive boyfriend who always limits all our movements every day. Wherever and whatever you do with anyone other than him must always report with his permission first. Your interactions with the people around you are also deliberately prevented for reasons of protection.
Indeed, hmm, a sense of belonging must exist in a relationship. However, getting into a possessive relationship for a long time can be stressful. So, what is the right way to deal with a possessive boyfriend?
Steps for dealing with a possessive boyfriend
Dating stamp does not mean that your partner claims property rights against you so that he feels entitled to interfere in all aspects of your life down to the smallest things.
The five tricks below can help you deal with a possessive boyfriend without drama.
1. Tell him honestly that you object to his attitude
If your boyfriend's controlling nature is starting to make you uncomfortable, then it's a good idea to talk to him in person. Speak casually but firmly without having to tug your nerves so that your point is clear.
Instead of saying, "You never let me hang out with friends!" You can replace it with, "I feel uncomfortable if you keep controlling my life."
Make it clear that you don't have to report everything to her, and that you don't always have to ask her to approve things to do things or meet friends. Remind your partner that even though you and him are in an exclusive relationship, each of you still has interests, freedoms, and personal lives that should not be regulated unilaterally. You have your own life and routine, and so do you.
Also explain to your partner that possessiveness over time can interfere with his life. Always focus on the point of the problem without being verbose.
2. Don't get angry
To try the things above, it will take a very, very large amount of patience and understanding. Then hopefully you can control your emotions as best as possible to deal with possessive boyfriend behavior.
If both of them are emotional, the relationship doesn't even go smoothly. If your partner's possessive behavior begins to "relapse," be patient with three to five deep breaths. If you are already getting angry, ask for time alone to cool your head. The more you overreact, the more your partner will have the upper hand to control you.
3. Find out what caused it
After you pour out what is blocking your heart, now is the time for you to ask your partner what makes him possessive. If your boyfriend's possessive behavior is caused because he feels insecure and is afraid that you will turn away or even because of blind jealousy, he is afraid that you will hurt his feelings.
Say firmly but without emotion that you also love and love your partner, but do not want to be restrained and controlled. That way, your partner can no longer look for opportunities to defend themselves or blame you.
4. Give more understanding
After you and your partner both rectify the problem, try to show more concern for your partner. You can hug him to ease his anxiety when he doesn't want to lose you. Also avoid things that would make your partner suspicious and possessive. In essence, make you and your partner avoid things that are not liked by each other.
5. Create relationship boundaries so as not to become more possessive
To deal with your boyfriend's possessive behavior, you can set boundaries for dating your partner.
Reporting from PsychCentral, psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D said that you need to determine the boundaries where you and your partner can behave, talk and prohibit things that are considered to have exceeded the limit and will have a negative impact on the relationship between them.
Basically this is not a bad thing. Boundaries are useful for creating rules that make you feel comfortable with each other and prevent future fights.