Have a lot of children or just one? 5 points to consider

Having many children is said to have a lot of sustenance, although there are those who think "two children is enough". The decision whether to have children is completely in the hands of each couple. However, you and your partner also should not arbitrarily determine the number of children you want. The more children you have, the more responsibility both of you will have to endure for the rest of your life. Research also reports that the more children you have, the higher your risk of heart disease. So, before deciding how many children you want to have, first consider the following things.

Many considerations of having children must be seen from the husband and wife's point of view

There is no definite answer to the ideal number of children for one household. The decision to want to have more or a few children is a personal matter, which is also to a lesser extent influenced by the physical condition and household of the couple themselves.

Here are some other considerations that couples should think about:

1. Compromise husband and wife

Each party certainly has the number of children they dream of. Maybe you have always dreamed of having many children, but your partner only wants to have one or a maximum of two.

According to Ann Davidman, an author of the bookMotherhood: Is It for Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity, discussing the desired number of children actually needs to be done before deciding to get married. The reason is, these differences in principle often cause disputes between couples so that it needs to be discussed carefully as early as possible, of course with a cool head.

According to Javier Aceves, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the University of Mexico School of Medicine, the desire for a different number of children between partners can be influenced by each other's childhood experiences. For example, growing up with many siblings can influence your decision to have multiple children because you want your children to be less lonely and feel the same happiness as you.

Listen to what your partner considers to have just one child. Maybe he wants a more intimate and close-knit household. And vice versa, your partner must also listen to the reasons you want to have many children. From there, find a middle ground to decide how many children are ideal for your household.

2. The wife's age and health

Women can only get pregnant in limited quantities. That is why the wife's age and health condition greatly influence the decision on the number of children she wants to have.

Getting pregnant at an age that is too old or too young has its respective risks to the health of the mother and the fetus. Women who are pregnant and give birth to more than 5 times are also at risk of preeclampsia, uterine prolapse, placenta previa, and depression. These risks also do not take into account the wife's medical history before becoming pregnant.

Also pay attention to the age gap between children, if you really plan to have more than one child. Distance that is too close or too far is equally a risk to your child's health going forward.

3. Husband's age and health

If a woman's reproductive age has an “expiration date” marked by menopause, not with men. Men can continue to produce healthy sperm cells even in old age, as long as they continue to maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, certain conditions or diseases related to age can still affect sperm quality.

Therefore, also consider the age and health condition of the husband - both physically and psychologically. Moreover, husbands are generally the backbone of the family breadwinner. Men also have to be alert husbands to meet their wives' needs during pregnancy and childbirth. Thus, a man's physical fitness and mental readiness need to be as excellent as possible during this time.

4. Household financial situation

In fact, the financial condition of your family plays an important role in determining how many children you both want to have.

Even though money is not everything, whether it's one, two, three children or more, you need to have stable finances to ensure the health and well-being of your children in the future. In fact, guaranteeing family financial stability is a form of parent's responsibility towards their children.

If you work, take your work into account as well. Many mothers are unable to work after having children. If you already have one child and are pregnant with a second child while also working, are you really able to do all that? If you stop working, will your financial condition be able to support all your family's needs?

The more family members in your house, of course, the more you spend. So, you should take your financial condition into account before deciding to have many children.

5. Emotional conditions in the marriage relationship

Apart from physical preparation, the emotional condition of the couple also needs to be prepared. The presence of children will indeed color household life, but also provide additional responsibilities. Having lots of children, you must be prepared with the conditions of the house becoming often messy and noisy, the needs are increasing, and so on.

While having one child does look more comfortable, you should also consider it from the child's side. Only children may feel lonely because they don't have siblings to play with at home. She can also get a lot of pressure from both of you because you want your child to be who you want him to be. Parents later also only depend or be accompanied by one child in their parents.

The decision is up to you and your partner

In the end, choosing whether to have multiple children or just one comes back to the decisions that are made both. Couples must be really ready physically and mentally for all the possibilities when they have many or few children. Also discuss what parenting styles will be applied to your children in the future so that they grow up well and are healthy.

No matter how many children you want, raising children needs to be well prepared so that you don't necessarily enliven the house with scolding, let alone curse or beating, against your children. Even worse, children can absorb and imitate your negative behavior.