Check your partner's cellphone is silent

In addition to communication, one of the keys to a healthy relationship must be based on mutual trust. Unfortunately, even if your partner tries to be honest in any way, you may still doubt his good intentions. This doubt is what makes you feel free to check your partner's cellphone to make sure there is nothing he is hiding. Actually, is this natural or not?

Why, do you like to check your partner's cellphone without their knowledge?

"He was the day before yesterday chat with anyone, huh? "

"It's often hard to contact lately. Who does he call? "

"Who else likes himcurious-in the social media? "

Have you ever thought like that?

Whether you realize it or not, being haunted by these questions will encourage you to check your partner's cellphone directly without asking or even permission first. Well, it turns out that there are several reasons for this, including:

1. Past trauma

Source: Men's Health

Have failed in a relationship before because of being cheated on, maybe the reason why it is so hard not to check the cellphone he is. The shadow of being betrayed by your partner is still vivid in your mind.

This is what then makes you insist on maintaining the current relationship no matter what. One of them is by always monitoring the partner's movements through his cellphone.

Mary Lamia, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist from California, explains that emotional memories that occur in the past can indirectly influence your current actions. Until finally, growing a feeling of fear that the bad incident will happen again.

2. Lack of trust in your partner

The habit of always checking your partner's cellphone can start from a lack of confidence in yourself. Like a building, trust can be said as the strong foundation of a relationship. So when that suspicion starts to grow, you will unconsciously be shrouded in worry.

Not infrequently, this will actually spawn trivial problems that can actually be discussed carefully. Over time, you may limit your partner's activities and friendships due to a lack of trust. Finally, the he even feels uncomfortable and uncomfortable with your habit. You don't want this to happen, do you?

3. Feeling something is covered

The trigger factor for frequently checking your partner's cellphone is not always caused by yourself. Sometimes, the attitude your partner shows can also influence what you do later. A psychologist and sex therapist, Shannonn Chavez, argues that someone who is not very open with their partners can lead to feelings of suspicion.

You, because you feel something is covered, ultimately prefer to find out for yourself by checking your partner's cellphone. Most commonly, because it is easier to ascertain yourself than to have to engage in a conversation that could potentially lead to an argument.

Or maybe, it seems difficult for you to ask what your partner is feeling. In short, you seem to know what is really going on in your partner's life but don't want to communicate it directly.

So, is this habit still normal or not?

According to Chavez, you are considered to have gone too far if you dare to check your partner's cellphone without his knowledge. In fact, it is only natural that curiosity arises about social media life, email inboxes, short messages, to partner's telephone history. However, it's best to still limit your actions.

Instead of having to secretly always check your partner's cellphone, why not just try asking directly for the sake of channeling your curiosity? Don't let him feel that your actions have violated his privacy limits.

On the other hand, this habit also leads to the wrong way of communication in your relationship. Indeed, your suspicion will pay off immediately after confirming what is in your partner's cellphone. However, will forever rely solely on stealthy means to confirm your doubts?

By always being shrouded in feelings of anxiety and fear, no doubt you will always assume negative assumptions on your partner. As a result, it actually disturbs the harmony of the relationship because it raises excessive suspicion.

It's okay to check your partner's cellphone, as long as …

There are some people who do not have a problem when their partner checks their cellphone, even memorizing the password to open it. Usually, this is because the two of them have made a mutual agreement before.

This statement is also supported by Ryan Howes, a psychologist at the Playhouse District of Pasadena, California, that a relationship built on trust allows both partners to have good communication with those around them without feeling suspicious. Whether it's with family, friends, to colleagues.