Is it possible for a person's nature to change after marriage?

Before marriage, everyone naturally has a unique personality pattern and traits. Personality patterns are formed from the upbringing or upbringing acquired throughout each person's life. Now, in marriage, two people with personalities who could be very different will be united into an inseparable package. Therefore, if you decide to tie a wedding vow, be prepared to undergo changes in your life as well. This change may come from within yourself, namely a change in character after marriage. Is it possible for a person's character or disposition to change after marriage? Find out the answer here, let's.

What can make a person change after marriage?

Many things can happen, such as changing the way you view your partner. He is no longer a lover but a life partner. The way you work can also be different, used to work only for personal happiness and maybe for some people for parents too, but after marriage, work is also to pay for a life together.

The way of fighting can also change after marriage. Maturity began to emerge in the household and more rational thinking in dealing with a partner. In addition, the way you see the future will be different from what you thought when you were alone. Thinking about where to live together, children's needs, children's education, and so on. A lot will happen in your marriage. Even not only these things, your personality can also change after marriage because of the factors above.

Is it true that getting married can change a personality?

Studies show that getting married makes you a more forgiving person and also increases your ability to exercise self-control. The researcher from Tilburg University in the Netherlands believes that these two qualities are important for a happy household.

However, what is meant by forgiveness and self-control in this study? Forgiveness is a decision to let go of feelings of acceptance of someone's treatment. By forgiving, you try to reduce negative feelings towards others.

Meanwhile, self-control is the ability to manage the thoughts, feelings, and urges that are felt by giving the right response. Self-control can keep you from getting carried away with emotions, while forgiveness helps you to continue a harmonious relationship from time to time with your partner.

The study involved 200 newlyweds and found that self-control and forgiveness improved among couples after four years of marriage. In this study, since three months of marriage, the newlyweds were presented with a series of statements regarding the ability to forgive and control themselves.

An example of his statement is, "When my partner is wrong, I forgive and just forget about it."

Participants are asked to score the extent to which they agree with the statement. Then four years later, the researchers gave the same statement to the participants. Well, the results show that there is indeed an increase in self-control and the emergence of forgiveness.

According to researchers, this could be due to a couple's growing commitment to each other over time. As couples feel more attracted to and want to have a long-term relationship, they will become more motivated to forgive each other.

Not everyone will change after marriage

According to Professor Andrew Christensen of UCLA, a person's personality does not necessarily change completely in a married couple. So it is not surprising that in the household there will be conflicts. Whether it's a big or small conflict due to differences in views. There are people who cannot change their character even though they try, and it is futile if you demand that your partner change their character.

When getting married, from the start everyone must be able to accept their partner's personality. You may be able to encourage changes in his life, but you cannot change the character that has been formed since he was a child and since he has not even met you. Only your partner alone can change him or her. Likewise, only you can change yourself. Couples are only there to help the change process, not to be the key to change itself.