Table of contents:
- A sign of an unhealthy mother-child relationship
- 1. Your mother was overly attentive
- 2. Again and again lie to mother
- 3. Let your mother handle things that should be your obligation
- 4. Mom gets too involved when you want to make decisions
Children are a time when you can indulge your mother. Over time, you will become more independent and mature. Of course, the relationship you have with your mother will also mature. Unfortunately, there are still many adults who are trapped in relationships like "the little one and the mother". Relationships like this, are apparently not healthy in building a harmonious family.
Is your relationship with your mother really good? Try to make sure the relationship between the child and the mother is good, by considering the following reviews.
A sign of an unhealthy mother-child relationship
What is a healthy mother and child relationship like? Healthy relationships are described with children and mothers who understand each other's boundaries. If the child or mother is still stuck with their old roles, this indicates that the bonds that are built are not healthy relationships.
Reporting from the Huff Post, Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of a book entitledIt Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction, explain his opinion on this matter.
“Most of the children are very dependent on the mother, so it is not easy for the mother or child to break the bond. However, a mother needs to learn how to support children to become independent adults, and children must also let go of feelings of dependence and learn to be more independent, "said Tessina.
Several things that indicate an unhealthy relationship between the child and the mother include:
1. Your mother was overly attentive
Communication via cell phone can make the relationship closer. However, it can also destroy the mother-child relationship. How come? A mother who calls her child to simply ask "Have you eaten yet?" or "are you home, work?" too often, it can interfere with a child's life. It doesn't feel right to be done all the time, right?
Actually, it is okay for your mother to contact you via cellphone. However, choose a suitable situation and time. For example, when you are sick, taking a break from work, or when there is news that is important and cannot be postponed to be announced.
To overcome this, you need to set your time back and provide special time with your family. So, your business with friends and work is not interrupted.
2. Again and again lie to mother
If you feel that you are an adult, you will want to spend a lot of time hangout with friends. Unfortunately, you are still afraid to ask permission and think that your vacation plans with your friends were disapproved. So, you look for other reasons that make sense to cover up the lie.
Even though your mother at that time didn't know what you were hiding. Gradually, these lies can be uncovered. This of course will make your mother hurt, right? Remember, to build a good and healthy relationship, honesty must be prioritized. Being candid will foster trust in each other and make the relationship even closer.
The solution, be a bolder person. Whatever the case, if you convey something nice to your mother. Surely your mother will listen carefully and give consideration to you.
3. Let your mother handle things that should be your obligation
Becoming an adult must be mentally and physically able to do something. For example, washing your own clothes, tidying your room, or making an appointment with a doctor for a routine health check.
All that you should be able to handle on your own. You can ask for help from mom, but when it's really urgent. If this continues, how can you grow independently and be smart about taking care of yourself?
For that, you need to re-evaluate what your obligations at home have or have not fulfilled. Smart in managing time and getting enough rest, so a solution so that you can do things yourself.
4. Mom gets too involved when you want to make decisions
Life is full of choices. This is a challenge for those of you who are growing up. The step to becoming an adult is to be able to choose which one is the best and dare to face the consequences.
Unfortunately, there are still many parents who often interfere with children's decisions. For example, the decision to choose a college major. Even though parents are involved in paying for the cost of education, parents are obliged to consider the wishes and abilities of the child.
Do not let the child undergo a choice forced. This is likely to stress the child out and the results are unsatisfactory. This condition certainly makes the relationship between the child and the mother and other family members not getting along well.
As an adult, you must be able to choose a decision. However, don't forget to accept input from other people, including your mother, father, and also your friends.
