Table of contents:
- Couples do not support career: between love and work
- Strategies for dealing with partners who are not supportive of your career
- 1. Try to understand their reasons
- 2. Involve a partner
- 3. Share fears and doubts
- 4. Create boundaries
- 5. Ask for help from experts
- 6. Ending the relationship
Have you ever felt constrained and found it difficult to develop a job because of your partner? Having a relationship with a non-career partner can be stressful, as it can hinder your self-development. It takes a precise strategy to deal with this problem.
Couples do not support career: between love and work
In 2004, there was a journal that revealed that one of the reasons why women quit working was their husbands. For those who are married and have children, this is done so that they can pay attention to the growth and development of their children.
The women interviewed said their husbands allowed them to work, but in reality the men did not play a role in doing household chores.
That is why most of these women choose to stop working because they are worried that their home and children are not being taken care of properly.
Apparently, the results of the study were due to the fact that men expect their careers to take precedence over the careers of their wives. However, in fact, women want an egalitarian relationship, namely equality between wife and husband.
Even though men in the millennial generation can run this relationship, they tend to find it difficult to commit, so it is not uncommon for them to end up in separation.
Even so, some people choose to stay in their careers even if their partner is not supportive. In the end, there must be something that is sacrificed, whether it's a career or a love story that has failed.
Strategies for dealing with partners who are not supportive of your career
Having to choose between career and romance is certainly not an easy decision. So that the two can go hand in hand, there are various ways you can do if your partner does not support the career you take. Starting from providing understanding to creating boundaries.
For more details, consider the following discussion.
1. Try to understand their reasons
If your partner is not supportive of your career, try to understand their reasons first. What keeps them from supporting your work?
Is it because they are worried about your health? Or jealousy about your outranking career than theirs.
Don't be prejudiced just yet. It could be that they love you and don't have the heart to see you have to work late at night.
When he says something he doesn't like, try to listen without interrupting him. When they are done, say what you want to say in a nice way.
2. Involve a partner
You may be an independent and intelligent person decision makerreliable. However, involving a partner in making career decisions can actually increase their respect. Your partner becomes more valued.
For example, you and your partner discuss when you should move to work to get even better opportunities. Or talk about work problems that your partner might be able to help you with.
Talking about work in a relationship — as long as it's within reasonable limits — will be good. Your partner will feel included when you are in your career, so they appreciate your efforts to work.
3. Share fears and doubts
When pursuing a career, it is not uncommon for their minds to be filled with fear and doubt. Try to open up to your partner about work problems and share about the fears and doubts that have been bothering you.
Your partner will probably try to understand what made it difficult for you to give up this career. In addition, they may be able to find the best solution.
4. Create boundaries
One way to deal with a partner who insists on not supporting your career is to set some rules and boundaries. Explain what kind of support you want and don't want from your partner.
This is so that you and your partner know how to behave when talking about work issues without having to show dislike. For example, you just want your partner to listen without having to find a way out when telling the story.
In addition, it provides an understanding of the work schedule and quality time with a partner can be discussed together if the partner feels you are too involved with work. This might work to get your partner to eliminate the reasons they are not supporting your career.
5. Ask for help from experts
In the end, if the four methods above are not able to reduce your partner's dislike of your career, try to get professional help.
If in reality they don't care and don't really listen to your complaints, then it will be difficult to come to an agreement between the two of you. Arguments and fights cannot be avoided because the same problem keeps repeating itself until it says, "Choose me or your job?"
If you feel you can't answer the question because you are in doubt, try to see a psychologist or specialist who can help you.
6. Ending the relationship
You may have tried various ways to deal with this, but your partner still doesn't want to understand. A partner who does not support a career for unclear reasons is an early sign of an unhealthy relationship.
If you've tried to explain and try to give understanding to your partner, but they still don't move, try asking yourself. What made you stick with your partner?
A career isn't everything, but having a partner who hinders your development is also not justified.
Having to choose between a partner who doesn't support your career or your job can be quite confusing. Try to think back on which ones are your priorities and which ones you can sacrifice.
If it is really difficult to choose, maybe you might consider seeing a consultant who can help you find a solution.
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