The reason why you are still single without a partner

Being single is indeed an option for some people. However, for some people, being single is actually a source of anxiety. It is undeniable that not a few people are afraid to be alone or be single for too long. Despite the social stigma that makes fun of singles, the desire to have a partner is actually a very normal thing. So, what is the reason you are still single and never find a partner?

This could be the reason someone is still single

Finding the right partner is not as easy as pairing clothes with matching colors. Not infrequently, you fail over and over again until you finally give up because you don't know where it went wrong. In the end, you just give up and start thinking that being single is actually fate.

Finding out why you are staying single does require self-reflection. Some of the points below might help you find the answer to your curiosity.

1. Assess yourself too low

Some people often feel that they are not worthy enough that they do not deserve a good partner. It could be, this is the reason you never get a partner without you knowing it.

According to clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, criticizing yourself too harshly can be the cause of someone who is still single for a long time. Continuing to have negative thoughts, like you are too fat, too old, or not smart enough for him will only make you withdraw from other people.

You may even think that the person is so naive that they like you, given your appearance that you thought was unattractive. In fact, it could be, you are the one who is putting yourself down too much. Maybe, the he is okay with your shortcomings and can accept it, even further, he perceives it as an allure.

2. Setting the ideal pair standard is too grandiose

The closure attitude of a potential partner is not only triggered by a lack of self-confidence. People who are overly confident are also reluctant to open up to people who they think do not meet the criteria of an ideal partner.

This is because people with high self-esteem often set too high or unrealistic standards, which makes them very picky when looking for a partner.

For example, you often reject someone outright because their physical appearance is not up to your standards. You choose not to give him the opportunity to get to know him better. In fact, it could be that when you get to know his personality more deeply you feel comfortable sharing stories with him.

Yes, setting unrealistic standards, especially from your physical appearance, can indeed be the reason that you are still single without your knowing it. It is true that you cannot completely ignore the matter of physical appearance. However, behind that, there may be other things that are interesting in his personality, which can attract your heart.

3. Expect the perfect relationship

Whatever the criteria for your ideal partner, you need to be sure of the purpose of being in a relationship or committing yourself to someone beforehand.

Most of the people rely on trust happily ever after in undergoing a relationship. You hope that your partner should be the one who can keep you happy for the rest of your life. Usually, this is what can backfire and eventually make you single again.

If you think that your partner has to be the person who makes you always happy, then you will never find that all-perfect person. As cliché as it may sound, you can never depend on someone else for your happiness.

In fact, no relationship is perfect. Even from them you think are perfect. Couples who seem happy also have their ups and downs. They must have had a hard time working out happiness together.

Prepare yourself to have a difficult time wading through a relationship, apart from of course happiness.

4. Too long to make choices

Everyone has different ways of finding the right partner. You may be the type of person who doesn't easily trust other people. It could also be that your past experience has been betrayed, making it take you a long time to get to know many people until you finally make a choice.

The advantage of getting to know a few people first does prevent you from making the wrong choice. However, this can also be the reason you still end up being single alone.

The process of approaching several potential partners at one time can certainly be tiring. Not infrequently, you lose your enthusiasm to get to know each partner in the middle of the PDKT process. In the end, you end up choosing nobody.

To avoid feeling bored during PDKT with multiple people, try narrowing down your choices. If you are principled about taking serious commitments, then don't waste time exploring those who just want to have a casual relationship.

It's okay to get your wish as clear as possible at the start and try to be assertive when you don't feel right.