Optimistic and toxic positivity, what are the differences between the two?

As the use of social media grows, you will probably see a variety of it more and more post which invites everyone to always be positive. An optimistic attitude is beneficial for mental and physical health, but an optimistic attitude without empathy can turn into toxic positivity.

Not only post on social media, a phenomenon toxic positivity sometimes seen when you complain to other people. Although his initial intentions were good, toxic positivity in fact, it can cause negative emotions to those who receive it. Then, what is the difference between an optimistic attitude and toxic positivity?

What is optimism?

Everyone has different ways of responding to events in life. There are those who respond to problems with a positive attitude, some are responding with a negative attitude, and some are responding to problems as the situation exists.

Those who respond more positively to problems are the ones who have an optimistic attitude. According to most psychologists, an optimistic attitude arises because a person believes that the events they are experiencing will end well.

Optimists usually have good prejudices as well. They believe every event in their life is caused by something good. Even if not, they still believe that the failure and bad experiences that befell them will only be temporary.

In addition, they also believe that the bad experience will not always happen and is not anyone's fault. This way of thinking makes optimistic people more open to change. According to him, bad things can change for the better.

Optimistic attitude and toxic positivity both have the principle of positive thoughts. However, that does not mean that optimists never think negatively. They also feel the same anger, sadness, and disappointment as other people.

It's just that people who are optimistic do not just throw their negative thoughts away. They realize that it's natural to think negatively when there are problems. The difference is, they choose to see a problem from a brighter perspective.

For example, suppose a friend of yours recently broke up with her partner. He feels sad and disappointed, but he doesn't ignore those feelings. Your friend understands that it's normal for him or her to feel sad at times like this.

Although sad and disappointed, your friend chooses to be optimistic. He believes there is wisdom behind everything and this experience can make him a better person. In fact, he might even be able to find a better partner.

Being optimistic is an option. Even if you've always looked at problems only from the negative side, you can practice changing this point of view. The process is certainly not short, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.

What is the difference between an optimistic attitude and toxic positivity?

As the name suggests, toxic positivity is a positive attitude which is like poison. Toxic positivity arises when a person believes that the only true way to live life is to be positive.

This means that you should only focus on the positive things and get rid of anything that triggers negative emotions. In fact, this kind of attitude can actually build up negative emotions in you and make you feel worse.

In contrast to an optimistic attitude, toxic positivity is the wrong attitude and forces you to ignore sadness, disappointment, anger, and similar emotions. Toxic positivity instead blaming someone for the feelings they are experiencing.

Here are some examples of words toxic positivity that you may have heard:

• "Don't always be a negative person."
• "Do not worry about it. Look from the positive side, you can get a better job than now .. "
• "Don't give up, anyway you can do it."
• "Try to be more grateful. There are still many other people whose problems are worse than yours. "
• "Later your problem will also be resolved, really.”

The people who said this actually had good intentions. It's just that, they convey it in an inappropriate way and time. They do not realize that their positive intentions make others feel worse.

What should be done?

There is nothing wrong with spreading a positive message, either through social media or in person when someone confides in you. However, try to pay attention to the right time and way to convey it.

When you talk to other people, it is certainly a relief when you can vent all kinds of emotions. So, let other people do the same when they tell you. Let them vent their hearts freely.

There are no "good" or "bad" emotions. In fact, emotions can help you identify a problem. If you are sad because of a breakup, for example, this is a sign that your relationship is valuable and that you are able to rise up to build new relationships that are equally valuable.

So, what if your close friends spread it toxic positivity? It might not be easy to remind him of this. However, if this bothers you, you can distance yourself for a moment.

You have the right to say, “Thank you for giving advice, but right now I still have trouble thinking positively. I need some time alone until I feel a little less sad. "

Optimistic attitude and toxic positivity are two different things. Being optimistic is useful so that you look at life experiences from the positive side without ignoring negative emotions, meanwhile toxic positivity makes you have to get rid of all the bad feelings.

However, human emotions are always changing and this is perfectly natural. By being optimistic without being toxic, you will be able to understand other people better.