Subtle way of rejecting a partner's sexual fantasies & bull; hello healthy

It is very natural that everyone, both male and female, has sexual fantasies. In the life of sexuality, having sexual fantasies about one's own partner can increase sexual desire and desire for a long time to fade.

But what if at any time you don't feel comfortable trying out their sexual fantasies in intimate relationships? How to refuse a partner's sexual fantasies so as not to hurt him?

Is it wrong to reject a partner's sexual fantasies?

Trying sexual fantasies should be based on mutual consent. If there is one who feels uncomfortable, then this fantasy should not be forced.

But in reality, refusing your partner's invitation to realize sexual fantasies can be difficult, especially if you and your partner are used to doing it. Many people tend to follow their partner's sexual desires simply because they are reluctant or want to avoid prolonged fights or conflicts.

According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, most people want their partners to be honest about their sexual desires. Refusing to have sex does not necessarily make your partner feel frustrated or disappointed as long as it is expressed in a positive way.

One of the researchers in the study, James Kim, revealed that positive rejection, which continues to show concern and understanding for the partner, can actually maintain sexual satisfaction that both parties have.

So, what are the ways of positive rejection so that your partner doesn't get hurt and doesn't interfere with your lovemaking session?

1. Be honest without being judgmental

When you reject a partner's sexual fantasies you shouldn't just accuse him of being overly dirty or abnormal.

Everyone has different sexual fantasies. Different forms and types of sexual fantasies may indeed be related to sexual preferences and experiences of each person.

However, there is nothing wrong if your partner has sexual fantasies that are so erotic or wild. Such as sexual domination or sadomasochism (BDSM), as long as he doesn't force his will or actually hurt you.

After all, according to Justin Lehmiller's research in his book Tell Me What You Want, BDSM form of sexual fantasy is one of the most popular.

2. Be open to explaining

Although trying sexual fantasies with a partner can arouse passion and make the sex session even hotter, that does not mean that it must always be realized in the real world.

On the other hand, you need to take a firm stance when your partner starts to force his sexual desire. Sexual intercourse should be done with the consent or agreement of both parties.

Try to explain why you don't want to have sex according to their sexual fantasies. Is it because your mood is not good or you are too tired due to busy work at the office.

Provide an explanation that will make your partner understand that if you reject their sexual fantasies does not mean that you will lose sexual attraction to them.

3. Try another time

If you and your partner have planned to try out one sexual fantasy at a time, but suddenly you are not in the right mood. Refusing to have sex can of course make your partner discouraged.

It's the same with making a date with a partner. If you can't keep that promise, you can reschedule the date again at another time.

You can offer alternatives to do so at a more convenient time. For example, when you and your partner are not too busy with work or other household matters.

4. Compromise

Just because you are not comfortable or excited enough to have sex according to your partner's sexual fantasies doesn't mean you can't try other ways of having sex.

Maybe your partner's sexual fantasies don't match your expectations. However, instead you and your partner can choose sexual fantasies that make each other feel comfortable. Suppose you have no problem using the straps used in BDSM sex, as long as it doesn't hurt you.