Table of contents:
- What has changed about yourself after your partner cheated on you?
- 1. It's hard to believe anymore
- 2. Your confidence changes
- 3. Can focus on other things that are more important
- 4. Commitment is getting stronger
It's normal to feel sad, angry, or disappointed after your partner cheated on you. But apart from creating a tenuous relationship, infidelity can also unwittingly bring many big changes in yourself.
What has changed about yourself after your partner cheated on you?
Like other important moments in life, such as a promotion or even the death of a loved one, infidelity also changes your life. Whether it's for the better, or vice versa.
1. It's hard to believe anymore
After being cheated on, it must be hard to ask forgiveness for you to try to mend the relationship with him. The pain of being betrayed can make it easy for you to be suspicious of all the movements and behavior of your current partner for fear of happening again. This is a natural reaction.
This statement is also supported by Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a psychotherapist and author of the book She Comes First. Infidelity, for most people, is a fatal mistake without a drug that can destroy trust.
The more and more lies that keep coming out of the mouth of your partner to cover up the affair, the more difficult it will be for you to return to the slightest trust in him. In fact, you may even have more doubts about the future that you will have to nurture together.
2. Your confidence changes
Betrayal by the person you love the most will certainly be a huge, painful blow to your self-esteem.
After being cheated on, it is not uncommon for people to think negatively and find fault with themselves. For example something like, "Am I not worthy / rich / charming / ideal enough for him to look for someone else?" or “Is he cheating because I'm not good at cooking? Or because I lacked attention? ”. Others may even think that they are no longer needed or even useful in the eyes of their partner.
Again, all these negative emotions you are feeling are perfectly normal. All the tricks that he does to deny the reality and deflect your accusations for a long time can make you start to doubt yourself.
On the other hand, it is not impossible that your self-confidence will actually increase after being cheated on. Not a few victims of infidelity can reconcile with their partners, and instead feel more confident about the future of their relationship after successfully going through the pain of the affair.
There are also people who are even more confident after catching their partner cheating on them, believing that that person is not the best for them and that they deserve better.
3. Can focus on other things that are more important
Sadness, anger, confusion, and frustration are pure human emotions that are completely normal after being cheated on. However, when you are constantly afflicted with negative emotions, it can make it difficult for you to focus on other important aspects of your life. For example, your relationship with your immediate family or your professional relationship at work.
Sadness from a broken heart can even lead to depression if you are unable to adjust and cope with the disappointment.
On the other hand, not a few people can legowo accept the harsh reality that the chance to live with the cheater is over. After that, you can start prioritizing positive things that you never thought about, never had time to do, or even been prohibited from doing, to rebuild your life.
You can focus more on fixing your personal life and not get caught up in bad thoughts that can backfire on yourself.
4. Commitment is getting stronger
As told by Tina B. Tessina, PhD, as a psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, an affair is a life test. Depending on how you react to it, infidelity may actually strengthen your bond between you and your partner, which makes your relationship even more harmonious.
Only you and your partner really understand how to go through the test. If your partner is willing to change and promises not to repeat the same mistakes, and you are willing to forgive and open your heart to take it back, this may create a new, much more intimate relationship.
The key is to open up to each other and find out what is the reason behind infidelity in your relationship. From there you and your partner will learn from each other how to build new relationships that are much better than before.
