Table of contents:
- Like what, is lying to yourself?
- Why is lying to yourself so hard to stop?
- Then how do you stop lying to yourself?
- 1. First, know yourself
- 2. In what situations did you lie to yourself the most?
- 3. Most importantly, dare to be honest with yourself
Without realizing it, everyone must have lied to themselves. In fact, just like lying to other people, lying to yourself will not end well. This habit of lying to yourself can hamper various aspects of your life. Starting from building good relationships with friends and family, having an affair, to a career. So how do you break this habit? Check out the following tips, let's go.
Like what, is lying to yourself?
One example of self-deception is refusing to believe in love. Because you do not believe in love, you are always half-hearted in relationships with the people closest to you. Either with friends alone or with a partner.
There are several reasons why people lie to themselves by not believing in love. According to Cristalle Sese, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, United States (US), you may actually want to believe in love. However, you are afraid of heartbreak because of love. Whether because someone rejected, had a big fight, betrayed by a partner, and so on.
So, to avoid pain, you may delude yourself into thinking that love doesn't exist.
Another lie that is often implanted is to think that you are incapable of doing something. Suppose your boss at work is looking for a candidate for the leadership of an important project. In fact, you have been eyeing the position for a long time. However, you have to compete with your colleagues whose performance and performance are very good.
Because you are afraid of being disappointed if you fail to get this position, you will deceive yourself by instilling thoughts like, “Ah, it's okay if I don't get this position. My rivals do a good job, though. Maybe later there will be another chance for me. "
Why is lying to yourself so hard to stop?
You are lying to yourself because you basically want to find a safe and comfortable position. You are also afraid of the unpredictable. As a result, it is very difficult to accept the reality.
You lie to make life a little easier and prevent stress. Lies are a way of avoiding disappointment or pain.
However, what makes this habit difficult to break is that you are usually not aware that you are actually lying to yourself.
Then how do you stop lying to yourself?
1. First, know yourself
To stop yourself from lying over and over again, you must learn to get to know yourself better. The method varies and varies from person to person. There are people who can get to know themselves because they are diligent in writing a diary, chatting with the people closest to them, or by trying new things in life.
Knowing yourself will help you understand what it is you want, what kind of reality to deal with and how best to get through life's challenges. That way, there's no need to lie to yourself anymore.
While getting to know yourself, you also have to keep in mind that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. So, there's no need for anything to be covered up to show yourself, your thoughts and feelings out there.
2. In what situations did you lie to yourself the most?
After getting to know yourself more deeply, then you can think about what things are causing you to lie. Soak in how you feel when you lie to yourself.
This can help you prevent lies from appearing in yourself when you start to feel threatened or fearful. So before you lie to yourself, you can already tell what is a lie and what is true.
3. Most importantly, dare to be honest with yourself
This last step is the most difficult but very effective. In order to be honest with yourself, you can ask your best friend or someone closest to you to remind you when you start to lie to yourself.
In addition, to be honest, you must have prepared a complete arsenal to fight for what you really want. Suppose you are eyeing a position as project leader. If you do not prepare carefully, of course you will be less competitive with other colleagues.
So instead of lying to yourself that you don't really want the position, it's better to prepare yourself as best you can. This could be by highlighting what your achievements were on previous projects or looking for bright ideas for these new projects.
Preparation like this will make you focus more on the goal, not on the obstacles.
