Table of contents:
- Can I immediately find a new boyfriend after a breakup?
- Give it a break before starting a new relationship
Breaking up is heartbreaking. However, for some people, going back and forth on your own may be even more torturous. For that, sometimes the choice to find a new boyfriend often comes to mind as a solution. But actually, is it okay to start a relationship right away when you have just broken up?
Can I immediately find a new boyfriend after a breakup?
Actually, there is nothing that prevents you from having a boyfriend immediately after breaking up. But the question is, what is your goal in doing this? As an outlet for feeling lonely or indeed because you are ready to start a relationship again? This is what you then need to ask yourself.
Chamin Ajjan, a sex therapist from the United States, states that dating with the aim of finding a new partner without first resolving feelings then shows the selfish side in yourself.
This is because when you decide to have a boyfriend again, but your feelings aren't over, you make your new partner a victim without knowing it.
When you have just broken up, it is not impossible that all the memories of your former lover are still very much in the heart. If that's the case, why are you looking for a new boyfriend? What's the point of you having another boyfriend? Don't sacrifice other people if the goal is simply to fill in the emptiness of your heart after breaking up with your ex.
If you are still hurt, obsessed with your ex, or confused about what went wrong with you that you could break up, then this is a sign that you are not ready to start a new relationship.
You need time to recover from past relationships. Usually, how long or not it will depend on many factors, from the seriousness of the relationship to the cause of the breakup itself. For that, you should not immediately date someone when you break up.
Give it a break before starting a new relationship
Instead of being busy looking for a new boyfriend, give yourself time to think and introspect. According to Dr. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist in New York, states that what you need to do when you break up is to introspect yourself by learning from the past.
You need to find out what was wrong with you and your relationship yesterday. Next, make this a lesson for you to use as a provision in a new relationship.
Cry if you want to let out sadness. Enjoy the process because in this phase you will find a lot of important lessons that can be taken and improved in the future.
After realizing that all your feelings with your ex are completely over, then you can start looking for a replacement. That way the relationship that will be pursued with new people is not just an outlet. However, you do want and are ready to start over.
Remember, don't rush into starting a relationship when you break up if you haven't fully recovered. Because, you will only add thoughts and problems to the new relationship if they are not resolved.
