Table of contents:
- Tips for educating children to speak and act honestly
- 1. Start with yourself
- 2. Explain the difference between honesty and lies
- 3. Reprimand with gentle language when he is seen lying
- 4. Get children used to learn to be grateful
- 5. Avoid forcing children to tell the truth by repeating the same questions
- 6. Calm the child not to be afraid to speak honestly
- 7. As much as possible avoid punishing children when caught lying
- 8. Always respect the honesty conveyed by children
Educating children to be honest is important for parents from an early age so that they do not get used to lying until adulthood. That is why, when something seems dishonest in what your child says or does, you need to know the right way to deal with it. So, how do you educate children to be honest?
Tips for educating children to speak and act honestly
Instilling the values of life is important to do since childhood, such as applying ways to discipline children and fostering a sense of empathy.
You also need to teach children to share with their friends and other people. Another thing that is no less important to teach your little one is about acting and speaking honestly.
There are many reasons why children lie and not tell the truth. This phase is naturally occurring during the growth and development period.
However, that does not mean that you let your children not tell the truth. Without proper education, lying can become a bad habit that will stick around until they grow up.
Likewise, when children say and act honestly which can continue until they are adults.
On that basis, it's best to instill the values of honesty and emphasize to children that lying is not the answer to any problem.
To make it easier, here are guidelines for educating children to learn honestly from childhood:
1. Start with yourself
Have you ever heard the proverb that says "The fruit does not fall far from the tree"? This proverb reflects a little about how children grow and develop under the supervision of their parents.
Young children will learn by imitating what their parents do as their closest ones.
If parents are accustomed to telling the truth both at home and outside the home, over time the children will also follow this habit.
So even though you may previously have lied for good (white lies), you should stop this habit, especially in front of children.
This is explained on the Great Schools page. Whatever the reason, lying is still bad behavior that doesn't deserve to be emulated.
Be a good role model for your baby by adopting the habit of saying and being honest.
2. Explain the difference between honesty and lies
Children don't really understand what it means to be honest because they still like to use their imagination to tell stories.
In order for your child to know what is real and what is not, you need to explain the difference between honesty and lying.
When children tell stories, help direct their imagination so that they can distinguish whether the story is hope or reality.
Meanwhile, tell your child that lying is bad behavior that shouldn't be done, especially to avoid punishment.
3. Reprimand with gentle language when he is seen lying
If a child is not honest to avoid problems, trying to get what he wants, or because he is emotional, it's best not to get angry right away.
For example, when your child says that he has finished eating but he hasn't, show your child that you always know when your child is being dishonest.
Say to your little one, "Oh, will you? Then why do you still have rice on your plate? Remember, you promised to eat before watching TV, right?”
After your child keeps his promise, approach your little one and explain to him that lying is bad.
Your child may not understand the meaning of your words if told or scolded for being dishonest.
So, make it a habit to always reprimand children in a subtle way.
4. Get children used to learn to be grateful
During the development of children 6-9 years, children usually do not tell the truth because they feel they do not want to lose to friends or other people.
Take for example, his friend has a collection of toys that are far more than children.
Feeling jealous and not wanting to be belittled, the child chooses to be dishonest by saying that there are as many toys as his friends have.
If you know this directly or indirectly, try talking to the child, but when you are alone with him.
Avoid reprimanding or criticizing your child in front of other people as this will only hurt him.
Even children can only focus on negative emotions and not on lessons about frank habits that they should do.
Instead, focus on why your child is lying and ask carefully about the reasons without being judgmental.
From there, look for ways to deal with this dishonest child. With the previous example, you can teach the child how important it is to be grateful for what he has.
Gratitude will make children feel enough and not force it to look as if they have what they don't have.
That way, children will find other ways to control negative feelings by still telling the truth.
5. Avoid forcing children to tell the truth by repeating the same questions
Even if you know that at that time your child is lying, you should not force him to be honest by asking questions that you already know the answer to.
Like this, for example, when your child answers that he has brushed his teeth even though you see that his toothbrush is still dry, avoid asking repeatedly.
If you keep asking, your child will likely try their best to make sure that they brushed their teeth.
Conversely, tell your child that you find out that he hasn't brushed his teeth and now it's time to brush his teeth.
6. Calm the child not to be afraid to speak honestly
The formation of a child's mindset can be started since he was a child. When the child is now at an age that is able to consider all the actions and words he speaks, children also need to learn that every action has consequences.
Entering school age, especially at the age of 6-9 years, children usually say dishonestly because they want to avoid responsibility and often because they are afraid of being scolded.
For example, a child was caught lying about their bad test score.
Try to say that if your child doesn't come clean about his true test scores, you and your partner will have a hard time helping him with lessons at school.
Do not convey with a high intonation or even scold him.
Also tell the child that the learning time will be increased to make it more focused. This method can help both educate and overcome dishonest children.
Because here, children will learn that every action has its own risks and consequences.
7. As much as possible avoid punishing children when caught lying
A child tends to lie for two main reasons, namely because they do not want to disappoint their parents and because they avoid punishment.
Especially if your child is afraid of punishment, lying seems to be his main "weapon" in solving problems.
It is possible that punishing a child who is lying will actually make him lie again in the future.
This is because in the eyes of the child, the lies he makes serve to avoid punishment from the parents for his mistakes.
So, when children are punished, they will also be more afraid to come clean when they make mistakes, as reported by McGill University.
The lies that children build in a story can continue to grow. The more detailed the story, the more parents will begin to believe.
Their success in convincing this parent can be a trigger for further lies, become a lie that continues.
Punishing your child for lying will only prolong the cycle of lying. The solution, it is better to advise children slowly rather than having to punish them.
Children who are punished for lying are more likely to distort the truth. Meanwhile, children who are given moral understanding tend to believe that speaking honestly is the best choice.
8. Always respect the honesty conveyed by children
Accept that your child made a mistake and may lie so you don't punish him or her.
When the child is telling the truth, appreciate what he said so that he is accustomed to being honest because he is not afraid.
Your love and acceptance of your children makes them begin to accept responsibility for their mistakes and learn from them.
Children are less likely to lie when they know they won't be judged for their mistakes.
Do not forget, explain to children that honesty is the right choice and parents will be happy if their children tell the truth rather than have to lie.
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