Table of contents:
- The challenge of having a husband with a mother's child
- How to deal with the husband of a mother's child
- 1. Not bad comments about his mother
- 2. Be polite but firm
- 3. Stay calm even when criticized
- 4. Lowering the ego with a little sacrifice
- 5. Agree on a time to visit the parents together
- 6. Schedule quality time together
- 7. Talk carefully with your partner
There is nothing wrong with having a husband who is very close to his mother. But sometimes, this can cause problems in the household. So, how do you deal with a husband who tends to be a mother's child? Check out the following reviews.
The challenge of having a husband with a mother's child
Having a husband with a mother's child poses its own challenges. Reporting from Psychology Today, couples whose children are nami are usually characterized by various attitudes, such as:
- Can not accept if the mother commented negatively
- The mother is always considered right and never wrong
- Can't say "no" to the mother
- Avoiding arguments with the mother
- If there is a problem between you and the mother, the mother will not be defended by you
From these various attitudes, it can be concluded that your partner will always defend and prioritize his mother.
This attitude can cause problems if it continues to be carried in the marriage. The reason is, there is a possibility that his mother will interfere in your marriage.
In fact, marriage is a relationship between you and your partner. For that, any problems and decisions that occur in marriage should be resolved together.
When a third party intervenes, it is feared that this could actually harm one party. In this case, of course, you are at a disadvantage. This is because the partner still prioritizes his mother over you as his wife.
How to deal with the husband of a mother's child
It is not wrong if the husband is very close to his mother. However, one of these things can trigger quarrels in the household.
The following are various ways you can deal with a husband who is a mother's child so that your marriage will have minimal conflict.
1. Not bad comments about his mother
Everyone must have flaws, including your mother-in-law. However, when your husband tends to have the nature of a mother's child, you need to keep what his parents say.
When complaining or making bad comments about his mother, he can actually become defensive. Even if your partner knows that you are saying the right thing, he may still not want to admit it.
For that, don't be too straightforward to talk about the ugliness of the mother in front of him. Find a way to convey it subtly. If this problem is causing you stress, consult a psychologist for a solution.
2. Be polite but firm
As a second parent, your mother-in-law sometimes asks you to do things that you may not want. For example, asking you to change the paint color of your house just because it doesn't look good.
Don't get emotional right away. Remember, you still have to be polite because he is also your parent. In addition, being bad at your mother-in-law can make your "mom son" husband angry with you.
It will be better if you tell the reason behind your refusal. Don't forget to tuck in to thank your mother-in-law for the advice given.
3. Stay calm even when criticized
Sometimes the mother-in-law often makes unpleasant insinuations to her son-in-law. If you are in this position, hold yourself back and try to remain calm.
Ideally, you can tell your husband about this. However, when you have a husband with a mother's son, maybe what happens is not to defend you, instead he will defend his mother.
For that, don't respond to your mother-in-law's comments, let alone complain to your husband. Just smile and answer as needed. It's not easy, but don't get provoked.
Just ignore negative comments against you and don't think too much. Precisely by ignoring it, after a while your in-laws will stop commenting on their own.
If conditions have begun to calm down, invite your partner to talk about this. Remember, use good intonation and word choice so that your partner can understand how you are feeling.
4. Lowering the ego with a little sacrifice
After marriage, it does not mean that you and your partner can no longer spend time with each other's parents.
In fact, you must maintain the same relationship as before marriage. However, talk to your partner about the portion.
Having a husband with a mother's child is indeed full of challenges. The reason is, he must be used to spending a lot of time with his mother. For that, you need to understand if the husband cannot be separated from his mother.
Take a little more time to accompany her to her parents' house and don't complain. Enjoy this time as it can also strengthen the connection between you and your in-laws.
5. Agree on a time to visit the parents together
As a married couple, you and your partner are an inseparable unit. Therefore, make sure that you and your partner make important decisions together.
This of course includes the matter of schedule visits to each parent. It's good to schedule it and agree on it both.
Having a husband who tends to be a mother's child does not mean that he can go to visit his parents at any time without your knowledge. Especially if this agenda is to sacrifice the promise of a date together.
You and your partner need to both be committed to making each other a priority. This is done so that your bond as husband and wife is getting stronger and has a lasting relationship.
6. Schedule quality time together
Scheduling time with each other's parents is important. However, spending quality time together is even more important.
This activity will increase intimacy and strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Therefore, it is important to tell your partner that right now you also need to be a priority.
7. Talk carefully with your partner
As a married couple, you must communicate all the things you feel. By sharing your complaints with your partner, he will also know how you feel.
However, use soft and precise language and intonation. The goal is to prevent the partner from becoming defensive or feeling that the mother is being blamed.
For this reason, before deciding to marry a man who is in the category of a mother's child, you should think carefully.
Not that you shouldn't, but thinking about the various possibilities that will happen is also good to prepare yourself. That way, you know what steps need to be taken and what things need to be clarified with your partner.
