Table of contents:
- What is forgiveness therapy?
- How to forgive by applying this therapy?
- 1. Commitment and sure to want to release the burden on the heart
- 2. Express your feelings
- 3. Just focus on the future
- 4. Stop blaming other people
- 5. Forgive them and forgive yourself
A study in 2014 published by the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology said that someone who is feeling, resentment, hurt, chronic resentment, or anything related to emotional wounds in the past can still be treated with “forgiveness therapy”.
What is forgiveness therapy?
Forgiveness therapy is an exercise as well as a means of letting go of emotional wounds and problems, which has been in use since 1980. Its use increased until 1990, and can be adapted as part of any traditional psychotherapy, as long as it follows the requirements and recommended steps.
How to forgive by applying this therapy?
Nathaniel Wade, a professor of psychology at Iowa State University, studied 54 cases of psychotherapy with problems around emotional wounds, traumatic injuries, betrayal, and even humiliation. Wade found good results when people experiencing the experience attended "forgiveness therapy" sessions conducted by him and his team.
The results obtained by the participants after taking the therapy were reducing anxiety, depression and even increasing life expectancy for the future. In addition, individual therapy was more effective than group therapy. The following is an example of the steps that can be followed:
1. Commitment and sure to want to release the burden on the heart
The first way to forgive is to make a commitment to let go of all the problems that have been making your heart restless. In order not to relive the pain of the past, stop thinking about it and telling others about it.
2. Express your feelings
You are still allowed, really, to express the pain you feel. Do it using a high limit of consciousness. Usually, people vent their dammed feelings using certain media, for example, such as telling stories with friends, writing diaries, or even simply writing letters without the purpose of sending them. Doing so will also help you understand yourself and the hurt you are feeling.
3. Just focus on the future
It doesn't feel good if the mind is constantly haunted by endless hurt feelings. But, how long do you want to be like this? After all, the person who hurt you doesn't necessarily think about your feelings either, right? You also need to be responsible for your own happiness, and not expect happiness from others. Nothing can turn back time in the past, what you can do is make today the best day of your life.
4. Stop blaming other people
Stop thinking of yourself as a victimized protagonist. There must be past memories that stop appearing from time to time. Relax, all you have to do is admit. Admitting that this has happened is a sign that you are almost at the stage of letting go.
This is the time to be tolerant of being able to accept yourself no longer blaming anyone or circumstances. When you blame others, it signifies that your pain is who you are now. After that, don't forget to make yourself aware that you are in the position you are in now, where you almost conquered the practice and ways to let go.
5. Forgive them and forgive yourself
We may not need to forget other people's bad behavior, but in fact everyone has the right to be forgiven, and vice versa with you. Sometimes, many people are trapped in the pain of the day, are stubborn, and feel unable to forgive. In fact it is futile and self-defeating.
Forgiveness is not a sign that you are weak. On the other hand, this is just a real sign that you admit that someone hurt you, but that you want to make progress in life without thinking about it again. Apart from being a way of being sincere, forgiveness also aims to empathize with other people, and try to see things from their point of view.
