Table of contents:
- Tips to rebuild trust from parents to children
- 1. Don't judge right away
- 2. Understand the child's feelings
- 3. Take control of your anger
- 4. Give the child the opportunity to fix it
Maintaining that trust is never easy. Once destroyed, it will be very difficult to repair. The analogy is like a broken glass. You might be able to pick up the pieces and shape them back into glass, but they don't look the same anymore because the cracks are still visible. So, what if the one who breaks your trust is your own baby?
With the right strategy and approach, you can open the door to forgiveness and rebuild the trust that was lost.
Tips to rebuild trust from parents to children
Nothing is more painful than being let down by one's own flesh and blood. How could I not, because you are the one who has worked so hard for a long time to instill life values that are principle in nature. For example, staying away from drugs and alcoholic drinks, not cheating, let alone stealing and harming others.
Even so, no matter how hard you tease your child about the values of virtue, there may still be a gap for him to act. It is not surprising, because instinctive children tend to be curious and easily influenced by their interactions.
Anger and disappointment are natural. You may need a long time to be able to return to trust in children. Even so, don't make this the end of your relationship with your child. So that it doesn't drag on, here are some tips that parents can try to build trust back in their children.
1. Don't judge right away
Children, especially when they are teenagers, are impulsive and emotional by nature. They are not always able to think long term and are aware of the risks to their behavior and actions. So, it's only natural that you often see children blaming other people or blaming their circumstances if they make mistakes.
This is agreed by Joseph Shrand, MD, head of the Adolescent Psychiatry division, at High Point Treatment Centers, Brockton, Massachusetts, United States.
According to him, adults already have the ability to reason to anticipate the consequences of every action, but adolescents do not necessarily have to.
Your child may never have intended to break his parents' trust. They may just intend to do what they want, try new things, be social, and have fun.
Therefore, before judging children, make sure you first know why they do this. Don't let your emotions blind your heart to listen to children.
2. Understand the child's feelings
One way to build trust that parents often ignore is understanding their child's feelings. No matter how angry and disappointed you are with your child, he also has feelings that need to be cared for and heard.
Your child may be just as angry as you. They may become angry and ashamed of themselves for behaving in this way. That's why immediately nagging or even punishing a child won't solve the problem. This method actually triggers new problems.
Instead of introspection, bad treatment from parents will actually make children more rebellious and withdrawn. Children can also think of their parents as their enemies.
As a result, children will continue to do this so that parents will never understand what motivates them to behave badly.
3. Take control of your anger
Children are excellent imitators. The way you deal with problems will affect how your children solve their problems as well.
So, don't get frustrated first when you find out that children are acting in principle. Listen to the child's explanation first until it's finished, then you can honestly convey a sense of disappointment in front of him.
Still, you should tell in a warm, gentle tone of voice. Don't be in a cornering or condescending tone
So, first cool your head and to your heart's content before inviting children to talk privately. When done wisely, this method is effective in helping to rebuild parental trust in children.
4. Give the child the opportunity to fix it
Even if you feel disappointed, tell him that you believe he can change for the better. Not only for you, but also for himself.
Explain that making mistakes is an integral part of life; provided we can learn from it and not keep repeating the same mistakes.
Try asking your child what he has learned from his mistakes. Also, ask him what they can do to rebuild your trust. This can spur children to learn to be responsible for facing a problem, think about what risks will be faced, and finally be able to make the most appropriate decisions.
Also emphasize that as a parent, you will feel more calm and relieved when they always tell the truth even though it hurts, rather than trying to hide it.
This way of building trust is important to help you monitor his every action.
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