Table of contents:
- List of problems that often come before marriage
- 1. Family intervention
- 2. Wedding expenses
- 3. Discussing the past
- 4. Expectations are too high
- Noise is not the end of everything
There are almost always issues that are debated before marriage. This debate often drains energy and makes an already full brain almost explode. Indeed, what are the problems that often come before marriage?
List of problems that often come before marriage
Marriage is one of the great celebrations in life. This is because marriage involves not only you and your partner but also both parties of the family.
Approaching marriage, there are so many big and small things that need to be taken care of so that all energy and thoughts need to be devoted to the maximum. However, you and your partner need to strengthen each other because there are usually various issues that often become debated before marriage:
1. Family intervention
Since the beginning of planning, marriage always involves the family. This makes family interference often difficult to avoid so that it is often a source of trouble. Even though the intention is indeed you and your partner who plan.
For example, you and your partner have chosen decorations that match your dreams with a modern theme. But suddenly in the middle of the road, your parents or prospective in-laws insist on wanting traditional and customary themes.
If both parties are equally tough and stick to their wishes, arguments are inevitable. Especially if a partner, for example, agrees with the wishes of his parents without first confirming with you.
Actually, this dispute can be avoided as long as you, your partner, and your parents respond with a cold head. As a middle way, there is nothing wrong with accommodating the wishes of both parties.
You and your partner can give in by using traditional themes at the wedding ceremony or blessings and modern themes at the reception. That way, debates with families can be minimized and both parties benefit.
2. Wedding expenses
Money has always been a very sensitive thing to talk about, including before marriage. Weddings, especially those accompanied by receptions, drain a lot of money. Especially if suddenly there are many additional things that must be paid and exceed the planned budget.
Usually, one of the problems that is often debated before the wedding is the difference in views on the cost of the wedding. That is, who should spend the money and share the budget between the two families.
In fact, this problem can be prevented if from the beginning you and your partner have agreed on the amount of the budget and the distribution. It could be from the beginning that you and your partner have agreed that a woman's family, for example, only pays money for building and catering. While the men pay for other needs apart from these two things.
Whether this division is fair or not is all based on the agreement between you and your parents. That way, the risk of debating financial issues can be avoided.
3. Discussing the past
Tiring preparations plus difficult job responsibilities often create friction between partners before the wedding.
Feeling tired, mummed thoughts, and the attitude of your partner that doesn't match your expectations often ignites the fire of anger. When you are angry, all things can be discussed, starting from trivial things like taking a long time to reply chat until past problems.
Past problems, especially those that are very lasting, such as infidelity, are very vulnerable to triggering resentment before marriage.
On the eve of marriage, the slightest mistake can trigger a feeling of distrust that will be linked to the spouse's history of infidelity. If you have this, anger is often uncontrollable and destructive mood You to take care of the marriage that is just around the corner.
So how to solve it? Communicate whatever you feel openly to your partner. If there is suspicion, ask your partner carefully and the origin of the accusation.
4. Expectations are too high
You and your partner must have their own dreams and standards for designing a fun wedding party. However, it is not uncommon for expectations not to match the reality on the ground. This is what often ends up with the couple before the wedding.
For example, your expectation is that your partner will always be ready to take care of all your wedding needs, both on weekdays and holidays. But in fact, on holidays your partner chooses to sleep all day at home instead of saying yes to your invitation to a wedding exhibition.
Since you are so eager to go to the fair hoping to find a suitable vendor, you get angry with your partner. On the other hand, your partner feels like taking a break from marriage and asks you to just go out with friends. Finally, debate was inevitable.
Things like this can actually be avoided by making a prior agreement from afar. For example, "On Saturday, we will come to the wedding exhibition, OK? I'll be in Sunday no it will disturb your rest. "
Also tell your partner that attending a wedding fair can save a lot of money because there are many discounts on offer. When asked nicely and gave logical reasons why you should come to the exhibition, your partner will not have the heart to reject it.
Noise is not the end of everything
Don't immediately get scared and think negatively if you and your partner often get into a fuss before the D-day. According to Shauna Springer, Ph.D., it is good to argue before marriage as long as you can find a solution together.
So, don't stress when there are issues that are being debated before the wedding. Just enjoy the process and consider it a lesson to be able to resolve conflicts without weakening your bond.
