Table of contents:
- Prepare first for the worst
- Considerations before going out with former best friends
- 1. Don't date immediately after they break up
- 2. Be honest with your friends that you really like their ex
- 3. Keep your distance
- 4. No need to announce that you are officially dating
Everyone has the right to love and be loved. This includes if you fall in love with your best friend's ex-boyfriend. People may still consider dating our former friends as taboo and should not be continued.
In principle, if you are already ex, it means that the relationship has officially ended, and there should not be any fluctuation of romance between two people. However, so that your decision does not actually trigger a cold war with your own best friend, first consider these four things before going out with your ex-best friend.
Prepare first for the worst
Before you settle into wanting to go out with your best friend's ex-boyfriend, prepare your mind to face the worst. Friends may be happy to hear what you want, and maybe even support. Of course this will be good news for your relationship and friendship. However …
You may lose your best friend and be shunned by other friends. You also have to get ready to put up the face of the wall and cover your ears when struck by unpleasant gossip. You can be labeled as a lover of other people's lovers, and even called as heartless.
You have to be prepared to experience all the possible risks before deciding that you want to date your ex-best friend. Even though it is bitter, it cannot be denied that this risk has become a reality that some people have had to live with.
Considerations before going out with former best friends
1. Don't date immediately after they break up
Before settling on "going out", you need to consider the history of the relationship between the friend and his ex in the past. Since when did he break up, why did he break up, and do friends still harbor feelings for the ex.
If the breakup had just happened recently and it seems that he still can't move on, first give up the intention of going out with a former friend. You as his best friend also don't want to put salt on the wound, right?
It's a different story if your best friend really has move on and already have other hearts. You might consider trying to start a relationship with her ex's best friend.
2. Be honest with your friends that you really like their ex
You are of course free to date the person you want. It's called love, who knows?
However, since this also involves a friend's own heart, it would be nice to be honest with him first. Explain that you and your ex-boyfriend are sincere friends who both like each other and want to date.
Also say that you are not here forcing your blessing. Rather, they only tell him not to hurt him and at the same time avoid misunderstanding, slander, or even bad gossip.
3. Keep your distance
If you have started going out with your ex's best friend, it's best not to frequently bring your new boyfriend (who used to be his former best friend) into your circle of friends. Especially if the two of you have just officially dated. Why?
This of course could potentially trigger a fight. Everyone has feelings, but no one can know what's in another person's heart. Even if your best friend is smiling and laughing in front of you, they may be angry and jealous.
To avoid an awkward atmosphere or you even becomesalting (become awkward), don't bring your boyfriend into the circle of friends yet. At least until you are absolutely sure the friend has move on, or even have a new boyfriend.
4. No need to announce that you are officially dating
Not everyone can tolerate the decisions of people who go out with their best friend's ex-boyfriend.
So to play it safe, you don't have to tout your relationship with your ex-friend to the general public. In addition to avoiding gossip and slander, this can also protect your self-image as a person who is not a lover of other people's lovers.
Hold on for a while until you and your new boyfriend have progressed to a more serious stage.
