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Have you experienced a breakup, social rejection, or even lost someone you really care about? When you experience this event, of course you will feel sad, hurt, or even heartbroken. Heartbreak is an emotional thing. However, why is it that when you have a broken heart, do you also feel physically sick? Isn't it physically and psychologically different?
When experiencing rejection or experiencing separation from a significant other, everyone will experience pain or injury that is psychological in nature. When experiencing separation, there are various reactions that can arise. Starting from disbelief, sadness, crying, to feelings of anger and loneliness.
Apart from feeling sad, heartbreak and separation can also cause some physical complaints. For example a feeling of tightness in the chest, abdominal pain, dry lips, and weakness like not having energy.
What happens to the brain when we have a broken heart?
Feelings of sadness and loss can activate several parts of the human brain. When you feel sad and heartbroken, the activity in a part of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex - abbreviated as ACC - increases. Feelings of being excluded from the social environment, low self-esteem, and rejection will also trigger ACC activity, especially on the back of the ACC.
ACC is located in the middle wall of the brain and is a very unique area. This is because ACC has an emotional function (the ability to manage feelings) as well as a cognitive function (the ability to think).
In the human body, there are many receptors, aka stimulants. These receptors function to transmit signals that arise as a result of stimulation or changes that occur in the body. One type of receptor that appears to be abundant in ACC is opioid receptors. These receptors will play a role when you feel happy or sad.
When happy, there will be an increase in action on the opioid receptors. Meanwhile, when you are sad, there will be a decrease in endogenous opioid receptors, especially the μ-opioid receptor (read: mu-opioid). The decrease in opioid receptors will also cause a decrease in the system reward inside, which makes you feel uncomfortable.
Furthermore, the pain received by the opioid receptors will be processed and converted into nervous system activity so that it will cause discomfort and pain in the body physically, not just feelings. This is why you can experience stomach pain or chest tightness when you have a broken heart.
How do you deal with a healthy heartbreak?
Heartbreak will certainly cause deep sadness, especially if the separation was so unexpected. Of course it is very difficult tomove on and forget about former lovers. Here are some tips so that you can recover from a heartbreak that lingers.
- Don't cover up your feelings. Often times, as a result of experiencing grief too deeply, a person tries to kid himself and thinks that everything is okay. Admit any feelings of sadness and disappointment you have. Accept it as a part of who you are and try to do positive activities that can help get over the sadness.
- Try to write about your sadness, this can be done if you feel uncomfortable sharing stories with friends. Write down every feeling you have and everything in your mind so you can feel relieved.
- Maybe that was the best decision for you and your ex-boyfriend.
- Don't beat yourself up for the breakdown of a relationship. A good relationship is a commitment from both you and your partner, not just yourself. The breakup of a relationship is not only a result of you, but also because of your ex-partner's contribution.
- Try to provide comfort for yourself, such as eating at your favorite restaurant, reading your favorite book, exercising, and hanging out with the people closest to you.
- Keep doing your usual routine so you can distract yourself from being sad and busy.
- Don't be discouraged, especially if you've had a really bad love experience. Don't assume that all the guys or girls out there will be like your ex. This will cost you the opportunity to get the best.
- Don't hang around and communicate intensely with your ex. This will make it difficult for you to get over him. You can communicate and be friends with your ex when both of you are more emotionally stable.
- Eliminate bad thoughts of taking revenge on your ex for being overly sad or hurtful.
