Ways to recognize child sexual abuse

There are no end to cases of violence and sexual harassment to adolescents. Not all children dare to share their experiences if they have experienced them. As a parent, you need to be more sensitive to be able to recognize behaviors that do not appear to be normal in children. The following are signs of child sexual abuse and abuse that you should watch out for and be aware of.

What are the forms of sexual violence against children?

Referring to data from the Child Protection Commission (KPAI) in 2015, there were 21.6 million cases of violations of children's rights during 2010-2014. Of these, 58 percent were categorized as sexual crimes followed by homicide.

Sexual violence can take the form of physical or non-physical violence, including:

Physical abuse of children

• Touching the intimate area or genitals of children to fulfill their passion.
• Making the child touch the perpetrator's private or pubic parts.
• Make children play in their sexual games.
• Inserting something into the genitals or anus of the child.

Sexual violence against non-physical children

• Shows things that are pornographic to children, whether it's videos, photos, or pictures.
• Ask the child to pose accidentally.
• Instructing children to watch pornographic videos.
• Peeping or watching a child taking a shower or being in the toilet.

What are the forms of child sexual abuse?

Quoted from Komnas Perempuan, sexual harassment refers to acts of sexual nuance that are conveyed through physical or non-physical contact, which targets a person's sexual body parts or sexuality.

Sexual abuse of a child or anyone is not just about sex. At the heart of this problem is the abuse of power or authority.

The perpetrator may try to convince the victim that the abusive behavior is actually sexual attraction and romantic desire.

Most sexual harassment is committed by men against women.

However, there are also cases of abuse of women against men, as well as with the same sex (both men and women).

Types of sexual harassment

According to the category, sexual harassment to adolescents or anyone else is divided into 5 types, namely:

1. Gender harassment:

Sexist statements and behavior that insult or demean the gender. This includes derogatory comments, derogatory images or writing, lewd jokes or humor about sex in general.

2. Flirting behavior

Offensive and inappropriate sexual behavior. Such as repeating unwanted sexual invitations, forcing dating, sending letters and phone calls that never stop even though they have been rejected.

3. Sexual bribery

Requests for sexual activity or other sex-related behavior in exchange for promises. Plans may be overt or subtle.

4. Sexual coercion

The coercion of sexual activity or other sex-related behavior carries the threat of punishment. Examples include negative job evaluations, job promotion dismissals, and death threats.

5. Sexual offenses

Serious sexual offense (such as touching, feeling or grabbing) or sexual assault.

According to their behavior, sexual harassment is divided into 10 types, namely:

• Sexual comments about the body
• Sexual solicitation
• Sexual touch
• Sexual graffiti
• Sexual cues
• Sexual dirty jokes
• Spread rumors about other people's sexual activities
• Touching yourself sexually in front of other people
• Talking about one's own sexual activities in front of other people
• Show sexual images, stories, or objects

How do you know if a child has experienced sexual violence or abuse?

Sexual violence or harassment in any form can cause trauma to the victims, especially adolescents.

Many people think that the perpetrator of child sexual abuse or abuse is definitely a stranger the child has never met or known before.

In fact, sexual harassment can be done by anyone, including the closest relatives of the nuclear family.

The pressure he can make him dare not tell what happened to him, even to you as his parent.

This makes him more likely to withdraw and become quiet. Therefore, you must be sensitive and pay attention to changes in behavior that may occur.

Early signs of sexual violence against children

Then, what are the signs of child sexual abuse and abuse? The following include:

• Often have nightmares to experience sleep problems.
• Changing behavior, for example using toys or objects as sexual stimulation.
• Become very closed and quiet.
• In a state of anger, his emotions will be very explosive and out of control.
• Mention any inappropriate words or terms.
• Doing things that endanger him.
• Telling his new friend who is older and mentions that he got a lot of gifts from that person for no apparent reason.
• Suddenly feeling frightened when invited to a certain place or when meeting other people even though they were fine before.
• The child may show signs of rebellion.
• The child has no appetite.
• The child may try to commit suicide.
• Often daydreaming or alone, even though at first it was very cheerful, for example.

If you see these signs in your child, it's best to approach him and try to tell him what happened to him.

Although indeed these signs can occur when he is experiencing other things in his life.

Like when you are facing divorce problems from your parents, you are grieving because a family member has died, or just having problems with friends.

However, there is nothing wrong with continuing to dig up information from children and make them comfortable so that they want to tell what they felt at that time.

Apart from these signs, there are several physical signs of sexual abuse in children that must be watched out for. Usually, these physical signs can be seen when the sexual violence is severe enough.

In fact, there is a possibility that it has been done for a long time, leaving marks on the child's body.

Physical signs of sexual violence against children

The following are various physical signs of sexual violence against children:

• The child feels sick, is bleeding, or has discharge from the genitals, anus, or mouth.
• Feeling pain repeatedly, every time he urinated.
• Frequent bed-wetting.
• Pain or difficulty walking or sitting.
• There was blood on her underwear.
• Bruises in unusual places, for no apparent reason.

The impact of violence or sexual abuse on children

Sexual abuse and abuse of teenagers does not only affect the present.

But it can also be potentially dangerous for its future. Here are some of the impacts you need to be aware of :;

The impact of violence against children on their growth and development

Embryological and pediatric studies have shown that the brain develops at an incredible rate during the early developmental stages of infants, children and adolescents.

Repeated exposure to violence and severe mental stress can affect the brain's stress response, making it more reactive and less adaptive.

Research has also found that there is a link between violence and abuse in children and a number of health problems later in life, such as:

• Underdeveloped brain development.
• Imbalance between social, emotional and cognitive abilities.
• Specific language disorders.
• Difficulty in sight, speech and hearing.
• Increased risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, liver disease, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol.
• Smoking habits, alcohol dependence, and drug abuse.

The impact of violence on children on their mental health

Children who have been sexually abused and abused tend to lack self-confidence and distrust adults.

They may not be able to express their true feelings, so they experience disturbances in controlling their emotions.

Violent trauma as well as abuse is a risk factor for chronic depression and anxiety disorders.

Some of the possible side effects of child abuse on their mental health can include:

• Anxiety disorders and depression
• Dissociation (withdrawal; isolation)
• Flashback of trauma (PTSD)
• It's hard to focus
• Hard to sleep
• Eating disorders
• Not comfortable with physical touch
• Tendency to injure yourself
• Suicide attempt

What can parents do if a child experiences sexual violence?

As a parent who has become aware of child sexual abuse or abuse, stay calm and take a deep breath.

Never blame your child because it will make him worse off.

Here are some wise steps parents should take:

1. Stay calm and give trust

Your child will see your behavior as a signal that they will be okay.

Violence and sexual abuse of children can change a child's view of the world, especially if it occurs in adolescence.

However, no matter how broken your heart is, reassure your child that it will be okay. Tell him that nothing has changed from him. Tell him that he is still the same as before.

3. Provide a sense of security

Restoring a sense of security in children is very important. Violence and sexual abuse of children can cause them to lose control and become afraid even at home.

Therefore, tell him that you will always be by his side. Also convey that not everyone is mean. Make sure that there are still many good people in this world.

This is done so that the child does not feel insecure at a later date when, for example, he has to return to activities outside the home.

4. Don't let children beat themselves up

Make your child believe that he or she is not the cause of the violence or sexual abuse.

Tell him that he is not to blame for not knowing that something will happen. This is to avoid depression in children, especially adolescents.

Many parents also blame their children for hiding the incident or for not letting them know sooner.

Remember, children have their own psychological burdens such as fear for themselves that have been described.

5. Ask for expert assistance

First of all, calm yourself and investigate what really happened by asking the child about the series of events that have been experienced by him.

If the child has given himself up to tell the trauma, immediately report it to the authorities and ask to undergo a post mortem at the hospital.

Then the doctor can design a specific physical and therapeutic treatment plan to restore the child's condition.

It is important to catch perpetrators of violence and sexual harassment. However, restoring the child's mental state is far more important.

For that, focus on recovering your child and always be there so that he feels safe and protected.

If you suspect your child or closest relative has experienced sexual violence in any form, it is strongly recommended that you contactpolice emergency number 110; KPAI (Indonesian Child Protection Commission) at (021) 319-015-56;Komnas Perempuan at (021) 390-3963;ATTITUDE (Action Solidarity for Victims of Violence against Children and Women) at (021) 319-069-33;LBH APIK at (021) 877-972-89; or contactIntegrated Crisis Center - RSCMat (021) 361-2261.

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