Table of contents:
- Men tend to cheat more often than women
- Marriage age that is prone to infidelity
- Dealing with the problem of infidelity in marriage
- 1. Be mentally strong
- 2. Present the evidence
- 3. Don't attack your partner
- 4. Start talking, not debate
Cheating is a word that might make everyone shudder. How could it not be, infidelity can make a household with a marriage that is long enough, which was fine, becomes damaged. Couples never expect the presence of a third person in the relationship. However, this phenomenon seemed never ending.
Marriage is very vulnerable to infidelity due to various factors. Boredom is often an excuse to justify this behavior. Even a defense like, “It's just kidding, really. Not serious, ”often served as a shield.
Men tend to cheat more often than women
Research published in The Journal of Sex Research found that men tend to cheat more frequently in marriage than women. Meanwhile, 44 percent of women under 30 said that they would end a relationship if a man was no longer loyal. Meanwhile, for women in their 40s, the percentage was only 28 percent, and for women in their 60s as much as 11 percent. This shows that as they get older, women tend to be more tolerant of cheating by their partners.
Marriage age that is prone to infidelity
Researchers found that in a marriage relationship, the tendency of men and women to have an affair is different. Women are most likely to cheat at the age of 6-10 years of marriage.
Meanwhile, men are more interested in having an affair after being married for 11 years. The researchers based these findings on data collected from 423 participants. Participants were asked to rank, according to importance and 29 reasons for rejecting the affair as well as their likelihood of cheating if given the opportunity.
The results of this study reveal that the factors that play the biggest role in an affair are gender, religious belief, and age of marriage. The decision not to have an affair is motivated more by internal factors than external factors, such as fear of being alone.
Another reason is the desire to comply with prevailing moral standards. Interestingly, moral standards in society are more effective at preventing cheating than worrying about the impact on children or spouses.
Superdrug's Doctor Online conducted a survey of more than 2,000 Americans and Europeans to find out why men and women cheat. The main reason women cheat is that they don't get enough attention from their partners. Meanwhile, men answered that the reason for having an affair was that they saw other women as more seductive than their wives.
Although not one hundred percent accurate, these findings can serve as a reminder for couples. Infidelity is very possible and you need to cultivate a relationship with your partner to stay warm in order to avoid cases of infidelity.
Dealing with the problem of infidelity in marriage
The marriage bond is not as simple as the relationship you were dating back in the day. You cannot go around and decide to end the relationship, especially if you already have children. For that, consider some tips you can do when you find your husband or wife cheating on you.
1. Be mentally strong
Don't be surprised if your partner gets on the defensive, firmly rejects all accusations and argues with a million excuses. It's easy for cheaters to trick themselves (and their partners) into thinking that their behavior is meaningless and harmless.
Even perpetrators of adultery often use methods to manipulate your partner by claiming that you are being irrational, exaggerated, or paranoid. They may even blame you for not giving them something they need or want.
2. Present the evidence
You must have concrete evidence of adultery by your partner such as text messages, phone calls, or even photos. Essentially something that you can present as irrefutable evidence. The perpetrator of an affair will certainly evade if you just ask "You're cheating, right?".
Without evidence, you will look like making it up. After that, ask your partner to talk about it and open up to you. Even though it hurts, confession can be a starting point for creating a better relationship going forward.
3. Don't attack your partner
Your main goal is to get to the truth by asking your partner to confess. Once you hear the confession and know what's really going on, the two of you can work out the best solution.
To do this, you must approach your partner in a rational, non-threatening way. Instead, you have to be gentle and reduce your partner's emotions and fears. The point is to get your partner to respond in an honest way. Make a plan for dealing with your partner and discuss these issues specifically without interruption. Choose the time and place carefully, then present the evidence one by one.
Calmness is indispensable in this matter. Using aggressive accusations or attacks will make your partner even more defensive and unlikely to help you reach the truth. Calmness and gentleness are better able to reveal truth than anger.
4. Start talking, not debate
A good way to start a conversation is to talk about yourself and start each sentence with the word "I", not "you." This will help your partner calm down and not feel blamed.
Second, express the problem in a nonjudgmental way by stating, “I will by the way seriously with you. There is one thing lately has been really bothering me. "
Lastly, once your partner starts to open up, don't bombard him with questions. Studies show that people will shut down, get defensive, and lie when they are asked too many cornering questions.
Remember, you are not a cop interrogating thieves. Listen carefully to your partner's response so you can accurately assess the situation and carry on the conversation.
If you have trouble controlling your emotions and thoughts, it's a good idea to go to a third party to help you calm down. Seeing a marriage counselor, therapist, religious professional, or psychologist can be an option because they will position themselves more neutral, than if you tell this problem to family or friends.
