Table of contents:
- The dilemma of having close friends of the opposite sex after marriage
- The rules for having a relationship with close friends after marriage
- 1. Be transparent to your partner
- 2. Set boundaries in making friends
- 3. Avoid confiding in household "kitchen" problems
Friends or close friends play an important role in our life. With them, you can share dreams, hopes, humor and beliefs, all of which create affection and a deeper sense of connection.
However, what happens if your close friend is of the opposite sex and you are now married? Can you still be friends with the opposite sex after marriage? And, how can you make your partner continue to believe in your commitment? Come on, find out all the answers in the following review.
The dilemma of having close friends of the opposite sex after marriage
He said, there is no pure friendship between men and women. The reason is, friendship across genders may be able to create a relationship that is more than just "friends". Especially if you are very accustomed to being close to friends of the opposite sex for long and repeated periods.
The same thing was said by Windfried Sedhoff, a mental health expert from Brisbane. Windfried says that if your best friend (who is of the opposite sex) can fulfill all the hopes and desires you have for a romantic relationship, this can prevent genuine and meaningful friendships between people. Now, at this point, having close friends of the opposite sex can be complicated, even dangerous.
Psychologically, the brain will produce the hormone oxytocin when you are near people who make you feel comfortable and connected to each other for a long time. The intimacy that exists can also deepen intimacy, so that it can increase romantic feelings.
Even so, a pure friendship without sexual desire can occur between a man and a woman. But indeed, this depends on how someone reacts to it because friendship itself is subjective.
To keep your friendship from getting too far, pay attention to the intensity you have with friends of the opposite sex. Do not let the intention to establish friendship with close friends of the opposite sex actually damage your relationship with your partner. Remember one thing, that you have to make your partner a top priority.
The rules for having a relationship with close friends after marriage
Getting married does not mean breaking ties with your closest friends, including friends of the opposite sex. So, so that you and your partner's commitment are maintained, here are some rules for close friends with the opposite sex after marriage:
1. Be transparent to your partner
Before getting married, it's a good idea to invite your partner to talk privately about the circle of friends you have, including close friends of the opposite sex. Tell me about all of your friendship experiences, and ask your partner to share their friendship experiences as well.
Discuss what if you and your partner are both uncomfortable. For example, you already know who are close friends of the opposite sex of your spouse, then make an agreement on what things your partner should not do when having friendship with their friends.
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between jealousy and possessiveness. Even so, make sure you and your partner are equally responsible for maintaining trust and commitment to each other.
Remember, the foundations of marriage often falter when one partner has lost trust or has broken his own loyalty. So, be careful about keeping commitments to yourself, your partner, and your marriage.
2. Set boundaries in making friends
Set boundaries for communicating and playing with close friends of the opposite sex. These limits must be applied not only in the real world, but also in social medicine.
For example, avoid commenting excessively when a close friend of your type posts a photo on their social media accounts. Also, avoid sending personal messages frequently if that's not the case.
If a close friend of the opposite sex asks you to meet up, ask your partner's permission first. If necessary, take your spouse and other friends with you.
Not only expanding your network of friends, introducing close friends can also make you and your partner trust each other.
3. Avoid confiding in household "kitchen" problems
There are times when you need a friend to talk about household troubles you are facing. Including, regarding the bad treatment of your partner.
Unfortunately, it is not appropriate to confide in the household “kitchen” problem with a close friend of the opposite sex. Apart from being unethical to indulge in the disgrace of your partner, this actually made matters worse.
If indeed you and your partner have a problem, then try to talk it over carefully to find a way out. If that doesn't work, you can ask your parents for help or even a marriage counselor.
