Table of contents:
- The characteristics of a person who sincerely loves
- 1. Understand when there is a difference in opinion
- 2. Let each have their own world
- 3. Not afraid to be separated
- Characteristics of people who cannot live without a partner
- 1. Always put the interests of your partner first
- 2. Hope your partner will also depend on you
- 3. Need recognition from your partner
- The difference between sincere love and dependent partners
In a healthy relationship, both parties need each other in the name of love and loyalty. However, loyalty is sometimes difficult to distinguish from dependence. Not a few people think that love is the same as depending their entire life and happiness on their partner. As a result, they feel they cannot live without their own partner. Which one do you think you are?
The characteristics of a person who sincerely loves
Loyalty and sincerity to love your partner is the foundation of a healthy relationship. A strong inner bond between the two parties is also needed to be committed to maintaining the integrity of the relationship.
On the other hand, devoted loyalty to the partner does not necessarily cause one of the parties to lose out. Both must be willing and able to sacrifice for the sake of lasting the relationship, not for the sake of just one partner.
1. Understand when there is a difference in opinion
Everyone is born and raised with a different perspective. So, differences of opinion between couples are still relatively reasonable.
Well, your relationship can be said to be healthy if you and your partner can still respect each other even though they often have different opinions.
Genuine love won't make you force yourself to agree completely with just one thought. You will try to understand your partner's way of thinking while weighing the pros and cons while comparing it to your own way of thinking. From there, the two of you can then continue to discuss to find the best middle way.
It doesn't mean that you become blinded and carelessly follow what your partner says, even though in your deepest heart you know it's wrong or not quite right.
2. Let each have their own world
A healthy relationship allows each party to retain privacy rights and freedoms. Yes, you and your partner have indeed committed themselves to living together from the start. However, this commitment is not interpreted as a restraint.
The key is that you and your partner can make room for each other. Partner's world is a right and a place where he can be himself without you, and vice versa.
It put it this way: you know your partner already had his own routines, habits, and circle of friends long before you met, and you appreciate his "private life". The reason is, you too with activities, hobbies, and all other aspects of your personal life.
There will be times when your partner needs some time alone to spend time with a close friend or family member, and you understand that. Do not necessarily force him to follow in order to continue with him.
Likewise, vice versa when you are required to attend an event. A healthy relationship will not make you force him to join, or on the contrary, you will be absent from the event because your partner is not accompanied.
3. Not afraid to be separated
Even though you are both in a relationship, you know that you are an independent individual who is different from your partner. This means that you do not feel doubtful, afraid, or even sad if you have to separate from your partner, whether in terms of distance or time.
It's the same when the worst situation makes you think about having to completely cut ties with him. You are not afraid or hesitant to end the relationship and return to being single, knowing that the relationship is beyond repair.
Here, you can still think rationally that sometimes there are things that cannot be forced. If you force it, you realize that the relationship will actually hurt one of the two.
Characteristics of people who cannot live without a partner
According to the Journal of Mental Health Counseling, people who cannot live without their partner on the basis of "blind love" are codependent. Whether they realize it or not, they tend to become obsessed with depending on their partner for life, so that they sacrifice themselves. Here are the characteristics of a codependent person:
1. Always put the interests of your partner first
People who cannot live without a partner because they always depend on them will sacrifice everything without thinking. They are even willing to give up their own life for the sake of their partner.
For example, you like to suddenly cancel events with friends to accompany your boyfriend to the gym. While maybe if the conditions are reversed, your partner may not necessarily do the same for you.
You generally always agree with what your boyfriend has to say. Again, it's for your partner's sake.
2. Hope your partner will also depend on you
In addition, codependent people will also do everything to make their partner very dependent on themselves. The goal is that he can never leave you.
Those of you who are dependent on your partner also want to be with him all the time. If your partner wants to have some time alone, you will continue to look for and contact him so that the matter is quickly resolved.
3. Need recognition from your partner
You will also depend on acknowledgment from your partner. For example, when you have an achievement, and you are not proud if you have not received recognition from your partner. As a result, your identity will be determined by your partner's opinion and recognition. In other words, it will be difficult for you to be who you are and have doubts about your own abilities.
The difference between sincere love and dependent partners
The obvious difference between true love and partner-dependent love is how you set expectations and how high you put them.
Love that is truly sincere, its purpose is to guide you and your partner together to develop to become better human beings, as well as to complete goal together. On the way, both you and your partner will try to understand each other and not lose each other's identity.
Meanwhile, codependency-laden love tends to be based on obsession and possessiveness. You are blinded by the false hope that the relationship can make you feel secure at the expense of yourself. You also tend to fear that your partner will leave you.
The more dependent you are on your partner and unable to live without him, the more you will be deprived of who you are. As a result, you are even more at risk of falling into an unhealthy relationship.
