Children raised by narcissistic parents grow up to be inferior & bull; hello healthy

It should be understood first that the narcissism that will be discussed in this article is not a form of high self-confidence or a penchant for posting dozens of selfies on various social media sites as a proof of love for one's own (physical appearance). What is meant is a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a real personality disorder that is owned by 1% of the world's population.

What are the signs of narcisstic personality disorder?

People who have NPD usually exhibit arrogant behavior, lack of empathy for others, and a need / desire and demand for praise. People with this condition are often described as arrogant, selfish, manipulative, fond of demanding things, and feel very confident that they deserve special treatment like gods from those around them.

People who have NPD cannot take criticism to the point that they may explode when their nature is criticized, or they may fake empathy just to get a plus from society. They may show remorse, compassion, or generosity, but do not want or fail to make a real change in their attitude.

These narcissistic personalities appear consistently in work and social relationships, even in how they act as parents to their children.

If you exhibit these signs, you may be a narcissistic parent

Just like the characteristics of a narcissist in general who want to look superior in all fields than others, narcissistic parents tend to have too high expectations of their child's development and development. Most narcissistic parents want to show off their children's achievements and always encourage their children to exceed their expectations for their own pride.

The expectations of achievement made by narcissistic parents are not based on an intention to make their child better, but tend to be based on their own wants and needs. This makes parents not / less treat their child as a whole individual, but as a way or "doll" that will provide benefits for them personally.

Selfie hobby is not a trait of narcissists (source: shutterstock)

In encouraging children to meet / exceed their already high expectations, parents tend to manipulate children's emotions and thoughts. They do not hesitate to blame (blaming), make children feel guilty, make them feel ashamed of themselves, or give mental pressure to them to obey their parents' wishes. This manipulation behavior occurs because parents perceive the attention and affection they give is a price to be paid in a reciprocal relationship, compared to the expression of parent-child parenting as in general, which is selfless and in return.

As children begin to grow up, narcissistic parents can become possessive. They tend to want their child to be under their constant influence and may show displeasure when the child begins to live independently.

The impact that can be experienced by children from parenting narcissistic parents

As a result of this deviant parenting, it is not impossible that the relationship between parents and children tends to be rigid because parents are too tough, especially when children make mistakes. Narcissistic parents also tend to lack understanding or pay attention to their child's emotional condition because they have a low sense of empathy for their children.

The main impact experienced by children due to the parenting style of narcissistic parents is barriers to personality development which can be manifested in different ways, such as:

It's easy to beat yourself up. Children raised by narcissistic parents tend to have low self-esteem. Children who are raised by narcissistic parents are more likely to experience doubt and anxiety in making decisions. The reason is, they are used to adjusting their behavior according to the "rules" of their parents just so they don't get scolded. As a result, when they do something, they tend to get caught up in regret and blame themselves over and over again.

Has no opinion of his own. Personal opinion or views on a matter are needed to make decisions and determine characteristics. However, if children are raised by narcissistic parents, they tend to oppress or show dislike when children have different opinions. As a result, when they get older they find it difficult to hold and express their personal opinion on something.

Narcissistic parents manipulate children to meet personal expectations (source: shutterstock)

Worry too much about relationships with other people. This is due to an unstable emotional condition so that someone is too worried about their relationship with other people will be okay or not. This form of excessive worry can make someone avoid depending on others or vice versa too dependent on others.

Too independent. This is one way a person responds to narcissistic parenting. In this case too, being too independent is not based on an independent attitude but on the view that no one can be trusted. As a result, they also have difficulty having emotional closeness to other people.

Pay less attention to yourself. Children who are sensitive or have high enough empathy will respond to their parents' narcissistic attitudes by not paying attention to themselves and always paying attention to the needs of others, including their parents and their closest people. The negative impact of this is that they pay less attention to their own needs, so that they tend to hate themselves for fear of burdening others.

Have a narcissistic nature. This domino effect is more likely to be experienced by children with stubborn personalities. Due to their lifelong parenting style, they tend to follow the same parenting styles and views as their parents. Another impact that may occur if children grow up as narcissists is that they tend to think that achievement, a bright career, or work status is the most important thing in their life that will determine their self-esteem.