Elementary school children are already dating? this is how parents deal with it

As a parent, you may expect that your child will begin romantic relationships with the opposite sex when they are old enough. However, like it or not, some children have started dating at a fairly young age. It could be due to social influences in the surrounding environment, media, or social networking sites. Then, what should parents do when elementary school children are dating? Check out the following reviews.

When does the child begin to have an attraction to the opposite sex?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, girls usually begin to have an attraction to the opposite sex at the age of 12. Meanwhile, this will happen to boys at the age of 13.

However, over time, not a few elementary school children in Indonesia at a younger age experience opposite sex attraction. In fact, some are no longer shy about showing off their intimacy with their boyfriends. At that age, of course, elementary school children are still too young to understand the true meaning of dating.

Unfortunately, the influence of social media and relationships may make elementary school children feel it is okay to go out with friends at school. Not infrequently, elementary school children throw affectionate comments to each other on social networks such as Facebook, Instagram, and other social networks.

Not to mention elementary school children who share photos dating in public places. For example, a photo of holding hands, embracing, even hugging. Judging from these photos, elementary school children not only have feelings of attraction towards the opposite sex, but have imitated the dating behavior of adults.

Of course this kind of child behavior problem can be troubling for parents. In fact, elementary school children do not necessarily know the consequences of their behavior. Then, what exactly is the meaning of dating according to children?

What is the meaning of dating according to elementary school children?

When your child who is still in elementary school suddenly tells you that he is already dating, you will certainly feel surprised. However, it is important that you remain calm. If necessary, avoid overreaction.

One of the things you need to ask children who are still in elementary school when they admit to being dating is what is meant by dating. Your child may have a different understanding of what dating means.

Children who are still in elementary school think that dating is when they sit next to the opposite sex in class. In addition, it could be that for elementary school children, dating is holding hands with a friend of the opposite sex he likes. Before you think too far, you can ask things like this first.

Then, you also need to ask your child who is still in elementary school, what activities were carried out while dating. Even if it is interrogative or investigative, it is still important to keep your tone calm.

The tone of speech the parent speaks to the child sometimes also affects how the child will answer questions that are given. If you sound angry or unhappy, your child may prefer to stay away and not tell you the truth.

Being too harsh or fierce when elementary school children are dating can actually trigger children to date secretly or children to lie.

What should parents do when elementary school children are dating?

If elementary school children are already dating, talk to them carefully. Give an appropriate understanding of his emotional maturity about what dating is and what responsibilities he should take when he starts dating. Remember, at this stage the most important thing is to maintain communication and openness.

Of course, you want your children to trust and want to tell their parents when something happens. Besides that, isn't it better for children to learn the meaning of dating from their own parents than from soap operas or their peers? This is what may need to be explained to the child.

Parents will often or always monitor the whereabouts of children, and children must answer calls or text messages from parents when inquiring about their whereabouts.
Basic sex education and specific issues, such as first menstruation if your child is a girl and wet dreams if your child is a boy.
The child's main priorities are school, family and friends. There will come a time when children prioritize their partners, but now is not the time.
Violence prevention or bullying (oppression).
Children don't need to date if they just follow their peers.

Should you limit your child's relationship with his close friends?

After hearing the opinion of your child who is still in elementary school about dating, you can only take the next step.

For example, your child who is still in elementary school replied that the activities he did while dating were together, hugging, and doing physical activities that were too intimate, you may feel uncomfortable.

The reason is, at a very young age, your child may not understand that these activities have consequences that they are not ready to face or endure. Instead, ask your elementary school child to properly delay dating until the child is old enough to do so.

Tell the child that liking or having feelings for the opposite sex is a beautiful thing and is not prohibited. However, at that age, it is not time for children to have these feelings. The reason is, the child may not be able to assume responsibility in a relationship or dating.

Meanwhile, if your child's answers about dating still sound innocent such as, "I'm dating him because he yesterday lent me his book," and, "We are always chat every day because he's my boyfriend, "You may still be able to give a little concession.

However, be clear about the boundaries of what you can expect from a dating elementary school child. For example, a child should not go out alone with a close friend without parental supervision. Give restrictions such as no chat while studying or passing from his bedtime.

The limitations given can of course be adjusted by yourself with the principles and values that you build in your family.

Monitor relationships and the media consumed by children

When elementary school children are dating, they will instinctively be more active in seeking information about relationships with the opposite sex. For that, you need to monitor the media that your child enjoys.

This includes watching, reading, music, social media, internet use, and so on games you need to filter it carefully. This restriction is important so that children do not consume information that is not appropriate for their age and mental development.

Also pay attention to the child's peers. Find as much information as possible about trends or topics that are hotly discussed in his interactions. If his friends have started dating like adults, such as kissing or going out together, you can discuss this matter with the teacher or the person in charge at school.