Table of contents:
- Various ways to overcome blind jealousy
- 1. Don't judge right away
- 2. Manage your stress and emotions
- 3. Convey your complaints right away
- 4. Negotiation
Jealousy is the spice of romance. It seems that almost all lovebirds have been jealous of each other. A reasonable dose of jealousy can have a good effect. For example, it makes you appreciate your partner more so that the relationship will last longer. However, jealousy also has its limits.
If you turn obsessive and show possessive behavior, such as opening your partner's cellphone to check the contents of chats and photo galleries, answering incoming calls,curious-in Facebook and email, asking for location every 5 minutes, until secretly following the partner wherever he goes— be careful, this could be a sign of unhealthy jealousy. Blind jealousy can actually worsen relationships, it even poses a risk to your heart and mental health.
Then, how to deal with excessive jealousy? Here are four tips that you can practice when you are jealous:
Various ways to overcome blind jealousy
1. Don't judge right away
Blind jealousy is often equated with the threat of fear and thoughts that are constantly haunted by negative things. No doubt this can make you accuse your partner of cheating. Ultimately, this unhealthy jealousy can lead to conflict, separation, or even violence in the relationship.
You need to change the way you think and see things. Just because you feel a threat you think it will happen. The simple example is this, you just found out that your partner is in the same office with his ex-girlfriend. This can lead to over-jealousy if you don't control it. You may be blinded by your emotions and think that they will spend a lot of time alone and CLBK (Old Love Comes Back).
Think about this issue objectively and use your logic. The office consists of a fairly large room. The chances of your partner meeting their ex-boyfriend are not as easy as you think. Your partner has friends from her own division, as well as her ex-boyfriends. The possibilities for interaction are not as great as you think. So, first calm your confusion of thoughts before accusing the nonsense.
Indirectly, this jealousy is related to the commitments you have made with your partner since the first time you were in a relationship. If you are absolutely sure that he loves you with all your heart (and so do you to him), what else is there to matter?
2. Manage your stress and emotions
Blind jealousy can be the fruit of stress that has accumulated and is allowed to continue. As a result, these emotions become more difficult to control. Before deciding to face to face with your partner, it's a good idea to find a way to cool your head and heart first.
You can try practicing deep breathing techniques, listening to music, meditating alone, taking a nap, taking a walk around the house complex, reading books, talking to friends, beautifying yourself in the salon, and exercising to vent your frustrations. In essence, do simple things that are guaranteed to improve your mood and make you happy.
Properly managed stress will help relieve the heat of jealousy. It is not impossible that after releasing stress, you will no longer be jealous of him and continue to move on.
3. Convey your complaints right away
Expressing jealousy with anger, subtle sarcasm, or accusing your partner of all kinds of things will not make the atmosphere better. If you just keep quiet and keep it alone, your attitude will be full of suspicion. Your sense of grief is also impossible to answer. It's good for you to cool your head first before talking privately with the him.
When you are sure you can think calmly and logically, without being influenced by a high ego, then explain your feelings to him openly. For example, “Yeah, I'm jealous to see you making lunch with your ex. Really, what is it that you have to be both like that? ” Remember, make all of your complaints calmly and gently, not in a high, judgmental tone.
We recommend that, make an appointment with your partner to both take the time to discuss this issue completely. Also create a comfortable atmosphere for discussion.
4. Negotiation
After that, negotiate and discuss both how to find a solution. For example, if he swore that they were only friends, then they could have lunch together as long as they weren't alone.
Or, asking your partner for specific action can also help make you feel more "plunged". For example, if you're jealous that your partner is always replying to your messages for a long time, then ask to make the effort to notify you in his spare time. Even if you don't have time to have a long chat, ask your partner to at least clearly tell you the situation he is going through. For example, "Honey, I'm in a meeting, I'll tell you later."
Overcoming blind jealousy is easy. It also depends on how hard you try to control it. One of the things that can cool the flames of jealousy is to build trust in yourself and in your partner. Always instill in your relationship that communication is an important key in any relationship. You and the he must both commit to open up to each other when problems hit, especially about jealousy.
