Shame having sex, is this a natural thing?

Shyness of sex is a problem experienced by almost all women, especially if this is the first time having sex. This shame can arise from many things, from low self-esteem, shame with body shape and size, lack of experience, and so on.

So, is it fair that I'm ashamed of having sex?

The answer is, naturally. In fact, shame is almost always a part of the psychological condition that can usually lead to "addiction" - continuity. Sexual shame is one of the strongest and most painful forms of shame. As Patrick Carnes - an expert on addictive sex often says, sexual secrets are often the cause of a person's greatest emotional embarrassment, but unfortunately shame is the least likely secret to be revealed to others.

Sexual shame often develops in childhood, most commonly as a result of sexual trauma, either overt or in disguise, coupled with experiences of emotional abuse or rejection. In addition, the shame of having sex can also grow from distrust of your own body shape and size. This often makes you feel taboo about knowing your own curves and is the biggest barrier to enjoying sex with your partner.

How do I deal with the shame of having sex?

Your sex life is nobody else's business, but sex belongs to you and your partner. That is why, you and your partner must be able to enjoy sex and orgasm. Sex is a physical and mental act that feels so good that it must be absorbed and enjoyed.

Sexual intercourse is a process that must be undertaken without coercion and burden, it makes you in control of yourself. You decide when, how, and where you can have sex with a partner's agreement.

Tell yourself there is nothing wrong with how you feel and what you do, because as long as you feel safe, everyone involved has given clear consent, and you haven't done anything illegal, then there is nothing wrong with that. .

Here are some tips for dealing with sexual shyness:

1. Turning shame into pleasure

Don't let shame keep you from feeling joy and happiness during sex. Take a step-by-step approach to removing anything that makes you feel embarrassed about having sex. Stay relaxed, but sexually excited enough to feel pleasure. Sex is not always neat and tidy, but it has to be fun and exciting.

2. Know yourself

So far, we've never taken the time to get to know our own minds and bodies to ask ourselves: what can really change us? How do we feel emotionally, and spiritually about our desires? Therefore, take the time to learn to know yourself. Learn all about your wants, pleasures, and how you want to express yourself. This will help you know what you really want and need.

3. Accept yourself

If you already know yourself, then accept what is in yourself. You can never give if you can't accept yourself. When you know how to give yourself pleasure, then you don't need anyone else to decide. Sex is a way of expressing feelings, not only the body, but also everything that is hidden in it. Sex is beautiful and healthy, so don't reject it but enjoy it.