Table of contents:
- Where did the ideal partner type come from?
- Then, will our ideal partner type always be the same?
- Fortunately, you have the ideal type of partner
- The ideal type of partner can change
Everyone must have their own criteria that are specifically sought after in the figure of their ideal partner. There are those who crave a partner who is humorous, white, tall, and athletic. There are also those who want a partner from a certain race or ethnicity, some are not concerned with physicality and lifestyle as long as they are religiously obedient, and many more. Maybe your ideal type of partner is different from those already mentioned, because you have special criteria that you think are important. Have you ever wondered where that "ideal type" comes from?
Where did the ideal partner type come from?
The description of the ideal type of partner often makes people as much as possible to find a companion who must be able to meet all the criteria. So, why does everyone have different criteria for an ideal partner?
Quoting from the Psychology Today page, this difference appears to be influenced by the theory of attraction (law of attraction). This theory departs from the assumption that everything that is contrary to ourselves seems more reasonable, or that we tend to feel more like having something that we don't / don't have now.
Put simply, your ideal type is actually a reflection of what things you don't have or that are thought to complement your life. So when one day someone seems able to "fill the void", you feel like there is a mysterious urge that pushes you to approach him.
For example, you are a quiet person and tend to be passive. You may tend to choose a partner who is more active, caring, or humorous to brighten up the days. Meanwhile, your friend whose character tends to be domineering may prefer a partner who is not controlling. On the other hand, someone who is inclinedclingy (wants to stick with a partner), may choose a partner who looks "cold" to pursue the sensation of "tug-of-war".
In a way, the criteria for the ideal type come from the desire in oneself to complete what it might feel is lacking to achieve the desired personal goals.
Then, will our ideal partner type always be the same?
Can be. Even though after a breakup we should look for a partner with a different character or type so as not to repeat the same mistakes, it is interesting that reality is not always the case.
A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science shows the opposite. The study reports that we are more likely to fall in love with people who have the same type or character as our ideal type repeatedly. That's why we also tend to look for new partners who have the same character or have similarities with the previous partner.
Well, the consistency shown from the love history of the participants shows that each person does have their own ideal type of partner.
Fortunately, you have the ideal type of partner
When we are in a relationship, we will definitely design an interaction strategy that will be tailored to the character and personality of our partner. Starting from how to communicate daily, solve A-Z problems, express the language of love, and so on. Here the advantage is having the ideal partner type.
If your track record of love so far shows your tendency to date people with just that character, then all the knowledge and abilities you get from interacting with your ex in the past are still relevant to be applied to new relationships. These sciences can also be lessons for you to build a stronger foundation in your current relationship.
Unfortunately, the "outdated" strategy doesn't always work out smoothly. You can just "get stuck" and keep having the same problem without ever reaching the proper resolution. This is because the root of the problem and the interaction model to solve the problem will always be the same even though the figure of the partner is different.
If you have this, inevitably you will try to find a partner with a different type so as not to repeat the same problem.
The ideal type of partner can change
Lorne Campbell, a social psychologist from the University of Western Ontario says that actually the type of partner can change in an instant. Especially in the context of online dating.
For example from the physical aspect. As the digital world develops, the standards of beauty and beauty may change more rapidly than before. Experts have found that people tend to look more attractive at first glance rather than over a long period of time.
In conclusion, regardless of your ideal partner type, or whatever character or personality you think is ideal, research shows that "ideal types" may not exist. It is personal preference that affects it.
Someone can just date someone whose character they like and suddenly change in the next relationship. The goal is to match each other with the characteristics of the person they are dating at that time.
