Table of contents:
- Meeting the wrong people at the right time
- Meet moorings at the wrong time
- How to avoid wrong decisions in having an affair
There are many reasons behind the failure of a relationship. You may feel like you get along well with someone, but you are getting stuck in your career, family demands, or place to live. In short, you have now met the right person at the wrong time, making it impossible to build a relationship.
On the other hand, there are people who have been married for years, but are apparently unhappy with their partners. They seem to be having the opposite situation with you, namely meeting the wrong person at the right time. These two expressions are commonplace, but what is the reason?
Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who has been a lecturer at Queens College and Cleveland State University in the United States, shares the results of his analysis as follows.
Meeting the wrong people at the right time
Leon and hundreds of therapists out there may have encountered cases of long-married couples, but never felt happy. Not infrequently, the root of the marriage problem actually starts long before the relationship begins.
Compatibility is one of the main reasons for having a relationship, be it dating or marriage.
You and your partner's principles, personality, and behavior blend in so well that they create a sense of trust.
The differences in character do not make the two of you feel threatened. On the other hand, you and your partner are less critical of each other and able to accept them. You agree and complement each other so that the relationship goes well.
Unfortunately, many relationships are built not because of fit but of compulsion. In many cases, a person is trapped in a family that is so disharmonious and violent that he is ready to do whatever it takes to get out of the house.
When he is old enough and someone cares for him, he is willing to get married so that his partner can "save" from his own family.
On the other hand, they just don't get along or their partner is violent.
According to Leon, this is what happens when you meet the wrong person at the right moment. You may be ready to get married or start a family. However, the bad things you've ever been through eventually make you despair.
This feeling of hopelessness unconsciously makes you willing to commit to the wrong person, because you feel like the time is right.
In the end, you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship cycle and need to work hard to fix it.
Meet moorings at the wrong time
In other relationships, the cause of the problem is not the partner but the time.
Have you ever felt like you got along so well with someone that you didn't have to think over and over that this was your ideal partner? However, this time you feel that this relationship is not necessarily going well.
You may feel that you are too young to get married, still want to continue your education in another country, have recently broken up or got divorced, etc. Not infrequently, the blessing of parents and a place to live far away also becomes an obstacle in building a relationship.
This situation may make you feel like you met the right person at the wrong moment.
Even though there is no such thing as a perfect partner, one question now arises: are you willing to lose this precious opportunity just because the timing is not right?
According to Leon, there is no wrong timing once you've found the right person. If you and your partner really love and respect each other, there are 1001 ways you can take to make this relationship happen.
You and your partner know that this is the kind of relationship you both want.
In this case, the couple will usually find a way to change their original plans. They also compromise to achieve a bigger goal, namely a harmonious relationship.
You won't meet the right person, aka the sweetheart at the wrong time, because the right person is timeless.
The right person will make you reorganize the original plan you made, and he will go hand in hand with you.
Time flies so fast when you are with the right person. You don't need to bother taking the schedule to meet because he is already on the schedule.
It is a part of you and it is also what makes your happiness multiply. He is the beloved.
How to avoid wrong decisions in having an affair
Having romance is not as easy as it sounds. Overflowing feelings, doubts, and previous experiences can influence you in making decisions.
The wrong decision will certainly have a long impact on your relationship.
Reporting from the Psych Alive page, here are some things to consider so that you don't even meet the wrong person at the right time.
- Understand your patterns of being in a relationship, including what you expect from a partner and why you broke up before.
- Trying to open up opportunities with different people.
- Listen to the advice of the people closest to you.
- Banish negative thoughts from yourself.
- Not rushing into decisions.
- Attend marriage counseling if necessary.
Finding your sweetheart without getting caught in the wrong time is not easy, but it's what's thrilling. You may or may not have met him before.
However, what is clear is that when you meet the right person, the two of you will find each other happy in each other.
