Table of contents:
- Tips for the approach period: it is important to understand your wants and needs
- Tips for setting expectations when approaching
- Don't give it all before he utters the expression "I love you"
- The next tip in the approach period, deepen the relationship slowly
- Tips for dealing with rejection when approaching
Everyone who wants to be in a relationship, may need approach tips so that expectations don't hurt feelings too much. Because when two people explore the introduction period, they usually want to move on to a more serious exploration.
It is possible that this period of approaching led to disappointment in some people. But for some others, the approach period is a happy time.
As an anticipation, there is nothing wrong with you needing to follow the tips to set expectations when taking the following approach.
Tips for the approach period: it is important to understand your wants and needs
When the time comes to approach a romantic relationship, there are a lot of hopes tucked into the future relationship. There is even a sneak of unrealistic expectations.
The expectations instilled are usually influenced by family history, peer groups, past experiences, and romantic films that have been watched.
It may feel good when partners and relationships really live up to these expectations. But it is important to know whether the expectation is part of a need or just a want.
"Desire" in relationships, for example, work, intelligence, physical attractiveness, such as height, weight, hair color, and others.
It is only natural when you are in a relationship, see physical attractiveness or meet the criteria you want. But if the relationship is limited to fulfilling a wish list, it is possible that the relationship just stops at one point.
Meanwhile, "need" is different from "desire". Needs answer the valuable qualities of a relationship. For example, a partner understands the values and purpose of life.
Knowing someone who is visionary in a relationship cannot be done by looking at their appearance from the outside, looking at their social media, or just chatting for a while. Everything needs further recognition, so that you and your partner know whether the relationship is based solely on "needs" or "wants".
Tips for setting expectations when approaching
In love life, not a few people have high expectations and want to have a relationship quickly to the level of marriage. Sometimes the two things don't meet at one point and cause feelings of disappointment.
According to JoAnn White, a psychologist and sex expert from Temple University in Philadelphia, said some people want to have a relationship quickly and hope that things go well.
No doubt, the approach period feels more enjoyable before exploring the stages of dating to marriage. So a lot of expectations that arise.
White also said that there are partners who want to run a relationship slowly and unhurriedly. Meanwhile, the couple does not accept this and simply ends the relationship. This is a mistake.
Meanwhile, Virginia A. Sadock, MD, a psychiatrist, said that going through a relationship too hastily is tantamount to forcing our partners.
So how do you take care of yourself so you don't have too high expectations? So that it does not end in great pain. So, follow these quick tips to set expectations for the approach below.
- Don't get too carried away with lust
- Get in touch slowly over the course of a few months
- Think about what you can give in a relationship, not what you will get
- Understand that desire will not last, but love can sustain it
- Solve problems to strengthen relationships
Don't give it all before he utters the expression "I love you"
Another tip that needs to be considered when in the approach phase is that it is better not to give everything you have. Sometimes this approach is like being a bet, whether your partner really loves you or not. Vice versa.
Sometimes there is always a desire to give everything to your partner. However, remember that it is important to take your relationship slowly without rushing it so that you can really get to know each other.
When the partner is absolutely sure, then he will say the expression "I love you". Starting at this point you can open up to each other towards the next round.
The next tip in the approach period, deepen the relationship slowly
After you've explored the previous tips on approaching and are sure that your partner is starting to get serious, open up to each other for the next relationship.
Psychologist Dennis Lowe, PhD, says that the level of success in a relationship is when a person gives fewer expectations and gives a little more of what can be given in the relationship.
When both your partner and you know each other's responsibilities in a relationship, of course there are ways to explore a successful relationship up to the stage of marriage.
Tips for dealing with rejection when approaching
Sometimes we have set expectations in such a way. But reality may say that the approach period that was undertaken was actually met with rejection.
As someone who is rejected or who rejects, know that it is part of the approach period. By staying positive and honest with yourself, of course rejection will feel less scary and much better.
Keep the following points in mind when dealing with rejection
- don't take it too seriously
- Don't fight back, but let it be part of the experience
- understand feelings (normal to feel disappointed or sad)
A tip for dealing with rejection is to accept that it's part of an inevitable relationship. Accepting rejection, at least helps you to rise from the feeling of disappointment that lasts for a while.
