Table of contents:
- The reason people forgive their partners
- 1. Love and comfort
- 2. Financial dependence
- 3. The partner really feels guilty
- 4. Enduring for the sake of the child
- 5. Believe the cheating partner will change
When you hear the story of a friend who was cheated on by their partner, your first reaction may be anger. Interestingly, the same reaction may not arise when you are the victim of the affair. You may choose to forgive your partner who cheated on you.
The reason people forgive their partners
Launching a study in a journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, forgiving a partner who cheating is bad for the relationship. Perpetrators can repeat their actions with a greater risk of physical and psychological abuse.
If so, why would some people still choose to forgive their partner? Here's the reason.
1. Love and comfort
When you find out that your partner is cheating on you, your feelings will play a part in determining what to do next. This is very natural, considering that both of you have built a strong emotional bond and comfort between each other.
Some people finally forgive their cheating partner because they think this mistake is no bigger than the love that has been established. They want to resolve the conflict that sparked the affair to prevent it from happening again.
So, they see that the root of the problem lies in something else and can still be solved as long as they are still in love. It was not the affair that was the main issue.
2. Financial dependence
Not a few victims of infidelity are forced to stay in relationships because economically they depend on their cheating partner. They may not forgive, but rather try to accept their partner's fault for not having a choice.
It's not just cheating, the same is true of relationships abusive. The victims have no income to support themselves. They cannot live independently and are forced to put personal happiness aside.
3. The partner really feels guilty
Infidelity doesn't always end in a relationship, especially if your partner really feels guilty. In fact, guilt is a sign that your relationship can still be saved.
This is why some people choose to forgive their cheating partner. They agreed to make peace because their partner promised not to repeat their mistakes again. The relationship eventually continues, although recovery will still take time.
4. Enduring for the sake of the child
When talking about infidelity, children's problems become a very big consideration. No matter how hard you want to end the relationship, keep in mind that your decision will have an impact on your child.
Even without a divorce, children who know their parents' affair are prone to experiencing negative emotional turmoil. Finally, many parents choose to make peace rather than have to further involve their children.
5. Believe the cheating partner will change
This is often used as an excuse when someone forgives a cheating partner. Regardless of the guilt of the cheating party, the cheated party truly believes that their partner will change if they reconcile.
In fact, forgiving a partner cannot be that easy. There are some questions you should ask yourself first. Among them:
- Is this the first time your partner has cheated on you?
- Does your partner understand the pain he causes?
- Does your partner admit the affair is a problem?
- Has your partner apologized?
- Is he genuinely aware of his mistake?
- Can you trust your partner again?
- Is your relationship worth maintaining?
For most people, forgiving a cheating partner is believed to bring peace to themselves. Admittedly holding on to hurt, disappointment, and anger takes a lot of energy.
However, it's okay if you decide not to forgive your partner who cheated on you. Infidelity has a different effect on everyone. You may need more time to recover before you can truly forgive.
