Can parents force their children to be good at sports?

Forcing children to be good at certain sports can make children depressed and affect their psychology. Sports for children should not be measured by high achievement, but how much children like the activity.

Sports for children should be a pleasure, not a force

The crowd cheered on the sidelines watching a soccer tournament match. The audience, which was dominated by mothers and fathers, was watching their sons compete in a children's soccer tournament in Bogor City.

Meanwhile, Rahmad stood on the sidelines feeling annoyed. Not because his favorite team lost, but because his son only sat in the spare seat.

“Loh I paid the same fee, why is my child not being played in the tournament? " said Rahmad telling Hello Sehat, Monday (7/9).

Rahmad was furious that he was not playing because the coach did not give his son the opportunity to come down and have fun in the match.

That was the story of Rahmad Febriandi when accompanying his first son in his football hobby by enrolling him in a soccer school.

"After I observed it carefully, the child was still happy, why was I the one who was angry. At that time I realized that I should not force children to play in sports competitions but to motivate them so that their children will be even more enthusiastic, "said Rahmad.

At that time, Rahmad's ambition was bigger than his son's ambition? What does sport actually mean for children?

It is not just one or two parents who have bigger ambitions for victory than their own children. Many parents tend to pressure and force their children to excel in sports.

Children's happiness in exercising is not the same as the parent's ego

The purpose of a child exercising can be for many things, for fitness, fun, building adrenaline, socializing, and of course it can also be for achievement purposes.

According to child psychologist Sani Hermawan, whatever the goal, sports activities always have positive benefits. The main benefits for children are fitness and fun.

When parents force, then the child feels depressed, it means that sports for children have lost their main task.

Whether they realize it or not, parents often register their children at sports clubs with the ambition of their children to win. She wants reciprocity more than just watching her kids compete and have fun.

Some expect the money they spend to pay off with sports achievements that can bring their children to top schools, get scholarships, or even professional contracts.

This trait could be to fulfill the failure of his parents who had ever wanted to become athletes. American psychologist, Dr. Frank Smoll, call it as frustrated jock syndrome or frustrated athlete syndrome.

"That's where parents try to realize their desire to become athletes through their children," explained sports medicine specialist, dr. Michael Triangto Sp. KO, to Hello Sehat.

When the child's ability does not match expectations, parents will be annoyed and start to force their will in various ways ranging from scolding, punishing, to giving additional training.

The head coach at ASIOP soccer school, Jakarta, Apridiawan said, pressure from parents actually makes children afraid and not enjoy the game.

“Competing with the pressure to play well from their parents will affect the mentality of the children on the field. One mistake can make him unable to continue the match, "explained Apri.

"In children's sports activities, the parents' job is only to motivate, not demanding. There is a huge difference there. Demanding means that there are ambitious affairs of the parents that must be resolved between the parents and the child, "he said.

Do not let sports games that should be a place for children to have fun become the reason for them to cry.

How should exercise for children?

"Sport itself is a part that will optimize the growth of a child," said doctor Michael.

From a psychological side, Sani said that sports for children can hone their competitive spirit, the ability to work together in teams, and the ability to socialize. In sports, children also learn to be patient waiting their turn, use time with discipline, and learn how to hold back.

"Sports improve motor skills, can be a balance between academic and non-academic children so that children are happier," said Sani.

Choosing the right sport for the child must be gradual. Sani suggests introducing as many sports to children as possible.

"Let him try as much as he wants," he said.

As the child grows, parents can direct the child to choose the type of sport that is suitable, which they enjoy, and can optimize their abilities.

According to Sani, things like this often go unnoticed by parents. Even though the wishes of the parents and the wishes of the child must always be communicated.

The key is how parents make children's sports activities fun, not a compelling obligation. Sani suggests asking children to discuss, not trapping them into a sport that they don't like.

"Children will feel cheated and not considered their wish," said Sani.

"So, the ambition of parents can make their children have the same ambition. What is difficult is if the parents do not succeed in making their children ambitious but still insisting, it will become lame, ”he continued.

In terms of physical endurance, doctor Michael said, children who run sports on their own will tend to prevent injury.

"Because he knows his body is important for the match, he will keep it fit and not injured," said doctor Michael.

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