Table of contents:
- The reason for not cutting ties with the ex
- However, there's nothing wrong with staying friends with your ex
- Don't follow emotions, think again before contacting him
This question is quite difficult to answer with a "yes" or "no" answer. You should first think about what your goal is to keep in touch with your ex even though your status has changed.
Actually, communicating continuously with your ex is your choice. However, most people choose to cut off contact with the past and move on with their lives.
Of course, some people have their own reasons for continuing to keep in touch with their exes and even close friends. So, if you are confused about which one to choose, you should consider a few things first.
The reason for not cutting ties with the ex
If the reason for breaking up was because of the physical or mental abuse your ex had committed, then of course there is no longer any reason to communicate with him. In fact, most people who are victims of relationship violence are traumatized, making it very difficult to reconnect with their exes.
Now, if it's okay to break up, you may still be unsure whether to be friends with your ex. Instead, think carefully about the impact you will get if you have a friendship with him.
Indeed, there is nothing wrong with it, but this thing returns to the individual. Maybe, you are a difficult person move on or easily imagined by the past? Even though breaking up is fine, if it's like this, of course it will be bad for you.
Referring to a study that conducted research on 2000 participants, revealed that people who were friends with their exes had more negative effects, such as:
- It's hard to turn over a new leaf
- Live in nostalgia
- Always blame yourself for the decision to end a relationship
According to Sussman, a psychotherapist and romance counselor, reveals that if you really have a very strong love relationship with your ex, how can you hold back those feelings? Feelings rarely change.
However, there's nothing wrong with staying friends with your ex
Ideally, communicating with your ex means cherishing the good memories that you shared together. Especially if you both grow up and live in the same environment and circle of friends, of course it will be difficult to avoid him.
Therefore, the excuse is used to connect with your ex because you don't want anything to change between you, except status and feelings. Some of these things might be your reasons for having a good relationship with the him:
- Your friendship is very strong and beneficial to each other
- Part of a circle of friends
- Spending so much time and time with your ex that it's hard to just let go
- Still have feelings for the ex and are not willing to let go
Don't follow emotions, think again before contacting him
If you still want to be friends with your ex, take your time. Take a break with them, take a break, and please yourself first.
If necessary, don't 'peek' at your ex's daily life through any social media as it will usually take your resolve to walk away for a while or reveal old wounds because of the possibility of seeing your ex getting a new partner that will make you feel insecure.
If you are truly determined to continue in a relationship with your ex, then you must be prepared for the following things.
- Limit yourself to your ex, don't hang around or send text messages every day like when you were dating
- Remind yourself every day whether this is the right thing to do or not. Whether you will bond with them or not if you stay in touch with your ex.
It's not wrong to have a relationship with your ex, but there will be many repercussions if you continue at a later date. Therefore, it must be thought carefully. If there are too many negative effects for you then break the ties between you for your own good.
