Know what causes a child to be quiet and how to deal with it

Quiet children are often thought to have difficulty communicating, including with their parents. In fact, in the process of child development, parents are expected to accompany children, including discussing many things. A quiet child can make it difficult for parents to understand what a child is feeling and thinking. Actually there are several reasons why children become quiet. Then, find out how to deal with it in the following explanation.

Various causes make children quiet

Generally, children with a quiet character will still talk a lot in front of people close to them. However, what about a child who initially talks a lot, then suddenly turns quiet and doesn't talk if he isn't asked? In fact, there are several reasons why a child suddenly turns quiet.

1. Divorce and parental fighting

Perhaps many parents are not aware that the problems they have with their partner in marriage can have a negative impact on their children. One of them is the behavior of children who were initially cheerful, now they have become quiet.

Silence can mean many things, from expressing sadness, anger, and so on. This silent action is a way for children to control a situation where they do not have the right to speak at all.

In fact, when a child suddenly becomes quiet, it could be because the child feels stress and pressure from problems that arise in the family. You and your partner may feel that separation is the best way for each other.

However, your child does not necessarily understand divorce, so your separation can be very painful for him or her. Therefore, the child may choose not to talk much and even “break down” because they don't know what to do.

2. New siblings

If your oldest child suddenly becomes quiet, one reason could be that he has just had new siblings or siblings. Yes, your child will certainly feel happy with the presence of his younger sibling, but this also comes along with the worry he has.

For example, your child may be jealous of your new sibling for fear of losing their parents' attention, and you and your partner may also be busy caring for your younger sibling. For a child who has been the only one, having to share their attention is not an easy thing.

This does not mean that it is not possible for your child to adapt to the situation. However, maybe at the beginning your child is still struggling so that he suddenly becomes a quiet child as a way of defending himself against new conditions.

3. Bullying orbullying

The problems children face at school are often the cause of children suddenly not talking much. Even if you and your child have a very close relationship. This includes unpleasant treatment by schoolmates, one of them bullying.

Bullying or what is commonly called bullying that occurs at school can take many forms, physical or psychological. In certain children, the way to deal with this condition is to keep quiet. Therefore, children who usually talk a lot, may suddenly become quiet when they experience this treatment at school.

A way for parents to deal with quiet children

You may feel worried, confused, or even feel like a failure at being a parent when you don't know how to deal with a quiet child. Try to stay calm, because there are many ways you can practice dealing with a quiet child.

1. Accept children for who they are

Reporting from Psychology Today, one way to deal with a quiet child is to accept the child's condition as it is. You cannot force a child to have the character according to your will. In fact, actually a quiet child has many advantages that you may not realize.

For example, quiet children tend to be stronger, more self-controlled, and more concerned about their surroundings. In fact, children who don't talk much are usually more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.

2. Do not summarize children's feelings from experience

Do not easily deduce how your child feels. You do not necessarily know how he feels even though you may have experienced something similar. Your guess about the child's condition may be right, but it could be wrong.

Better, invite the child to communicate more so that he is comfortable telling the feelings he has. You may share a personal experience similar to the one he is experiencing, but never assume you know what he is feeling and underestimate it.

3. Take time to listen to complaints of children

Take your time to really listen to the child. Not only listening to his complaints through words. However, try to understand their gestures, attitudes, and habits to better understand the child's quiet mind.

4. Avoid cornering children

Cornering a quiet child by comparing him with others is not the right way to deal with it. In fact, your child will feel pressured if you force him to be someone else.

For example, avoid saying the words, "How can you have friends if you stay in the room all the time?" or, "Play there, outside, like your brother!" Instead of focusing on the shortcomings of a child who doesn't talk much, try to focus more on the strengths he has.

5. Don't label the child as quiet

Those of you who have grown up are not necessarily happy if you are labeled by other people. Likewise with your child, of course he also does not like being labeled by both parents. So, avoid giving labels to your child.

Don't say that your child is quiet because he or she is shy. Better to say that your child takes longer to adapt to new people and that it is not a problem.

Meanwhile, if other people label your child, say that the person is still unfamiliar with your child, therefore the child becomes a little talkative in front of him.

Helping quiet children to be more open

After you have successfully dealt with your child at home, now is the time for you to help your child adapt and socialize with the "outside world". This is important because you are not always there for your child. So that, you need to teach children to be more open.

1. Train quiet children to socialize

So that your child knows how to adapt and deal with new people, you may want to help your child socialize. You can do this by introducing your child to various social situations.

Start with a small social situation first. For example, do play date or play with a new friend. However, do not force children to interact in these social situations if they are not ready. The reason is, this can actually trigger anxiety and children are increasingly reluctant to do so.

2. Plan carefully

If you want to really help your child socialize with his peers, plan carefully. If your child gets a birthday invitation from a friend, let your child know that it's a good thing to come and wish their friend a happy birthday.

You can help the child to practice dialogue with his friend, for example by pretending to be his friend. This can help children to be more natural when they have a real dialogue with friends.

3. Give praise to the child

When children succeed in making an interaction with friends that have never been done before, there is nothing wrong with giving them praise. Tell your child that your child is great because he has been brave enough to fight his fear. However, make sure that you compliment your child in an appropriate and not exaggerated manner.